So, yes, we are still talking about mermaids in psych. We’ve reached that point in the semester when the beginning-of-the-year chaos starts settling down and my weeks slip into a routine. I’ve gotten really involved in a few clubs and dropped a few others. I know the names of the other students in my classes (at least most of them?). My midterms are starting (ugggh). I know which class is my favorite (I’ll never say) and which is my least favorite (Stats). I’ve identified the shower stall in my Res Hall’s bathroom that has the best water pressure–you know, the important stuff.
In a lot of ways, this point in the semester feels exactly like it has for the past three years. But being a senior has definitely tweaked my schedule, habits, and priorities in a way that feels pretty familiar.
All the “career fair” and “company campus visit” emails that I’ve happily deleted in previous years suddenly matter to me. I was genuinely, embarrassingly excited when I heard about a “free professional headshots” workshop. Networking trip to the headquarters of a major marketing company? Sign me up! Negotiating workshop? Great! I’ve even started mining my extracurriculars for opportunities to get skills that I can slap on my resume. The work I did in my first three years of college was geared toward preparing me for the next round of schooling–enrolling in the right pre-reqs, knocking out degree requirements, getting more involved in my favorite orgs. Now I’m readying myself to embark on something completely different, with a new, foreign set of expectations and requirements.
All of this is bringing on really strong flashbacks to senior year of high school, some of them positive. Reviewing the glossy admissions brochures and imagining myself as an independent student who did her homework while sprawled on grassy academic quads and only took classes in things that interested her (I may have been a wee bit idealistic about the whole thing) was exhilarating. Like basically everyone who applies to Wellesley, I had worked hard in high school and it was starting to feel like that would pay off. Sound familiar? If you’re like me, that same heady mix of anticipation and hope will return when you start facing down the start of your post-college career.
At the same time, any transition as major as high school to college or college to the working world is going to be a stressful process that doesn’t always bring out the best in people. Telling every single college I applied to and every single job I am considering applying to that I am enthusiastic! committed! and excited about them in particular! made me feel inauthentic, as did having to look at extracurriculars that had previously been passion projects as opportunities to boost my applications. Focusing on colleges and jobs inevitably drains energy and time from other things, like hobbies and seeing friends and classes that may not be strictly relevant to my future but genuinely interest me.
I’m guessing that a lot of that, both the thrilling and not-so-thrilling bits, feels familiar to you as you check out colleges and start reviewing apps. I hope the things I learned about myself during the college application process will be helpful for my job application process this year. Maybe it will be for your application as well? Succumbing to the urge to turn everything into an academic/career booster leads to Stressland. Reserving time for things that are only important to you (hi, knitting club) will make you happier in the long run. People who read applications of all types can smell BS from across the room, so don’t bother sucking up and just be honest–that’ll lead to a better match anyway. Comparing yourself to others will drive you batty. The whole thing is a bit of a crapshoot, so it’s important not to get crushed by rejections–or too puffed by successes.
Of course, this all feels a bit trite. The truth is that preparing applications sometimes sucks and it’s okay to acknowledge that. Writing cover letters sucks. Writing the seventh variation on an essay about your passion for the ukulele, or whatever your thing is, sucks. It’s hard not to take rejections at least a little personally, and impossible not to compare yourself to others. Colleges and jobs both demand a big, consistent display enthusiasm that you’re not going to feel 100% of time for even your top choices, and sometimes you’re just going to have to fake it. Everyone takes classes or signs up for volunteering or joins clubs that they wouldn’t necessarily have if they didn’t have an eye on the future. There’s nothing wrong with that, but those experiences haven’t been the most fulfilling of my life, and I’m guessing they aren’t for you either. I get it. I remember it. I’m sorry!
If I can end this whole ramble of a blog post with one thought, it’s this–take good care of yourself, okay? You, me, everyone who’s launching headfirst into a big, scary life change, unsure of what the other side will look like and uncertain at times of whether we’ll even get there. Promise me that you won’t turn your whole identity into Person Who Is Applying to College, and I promise not to turn into one of those people who calls every social situation a “networking opportunity.” I think that in the long run, we’ll all be happier.
See you next week!