Time of Decisions

Hello readers,

Man, I feel like it’s been such a long time since I’ve sat down to write. For a period when school isn’t in session, I’ve sure managed to keep myself busy! Along with the rest of the swim team, now’s prime time for applications, so I’ve been seeking out opportunities and heading down to the CWS (Wellesley’s Center for Work and Service, as opposed to the supermarket CVS; I’ve gotten raised eyebrows for that one :)).

However, in order to figure out which internships would most benefit me, I have to know what I want to do first :). And I am incredibly lucky, because especially now, I am blessedly surrounded by choice.  Unlike most students at Wellesley, I am fortunate enough to have a good idea of what I want to do in the future: I want to be a neuroscience professor, at a school where I get to teach as well as do research. Even for such a laid-out path, however, there are still choices to be made!

My parents and others have recommended an MD/PhD path. Accompanying this decision is whether I want to continue research in Professor Conway’s lab next year and after, and whether I will thesis. There is also the question of what to do with my summers, because the pre-MD recommendations are different from the pre-grad ones. Also, how many years should I take between the end of undergraduate and graduate school? What classes should I sign up for next semester, and the next 2 ½ years, to support these goals? How old do I want to be when I finish?

I’m finding that I’m accumulating a lot of specialized information about these specific career paths, which is vaguely unnerving to me, as it represents a step away from the “you can be whatever you want when you grow up!” mentality and towards the “you are grown up!” However, accompanying this narrowing of focus is the idea that I must close no doors, leaving maximum opportunities for myself in the future. It’s been confusing, and I was thankful that one of the mentors I’ve been emailing acknowledged that it’s a confusing period. This brings up a point that I’ve actually appreciated about this period; there are so many people who are willing to help.

I usually don’t go out of my way to talk to professors or other mentors about future planning, because my focus period is usually approximately a week. However, my parents know this about me, and decided to tell me to pursue an MD/PhD degree over the three days that I was home for break. Well, that set off the alarm bells, and it’s when I get anxious that I ask for help. Happily, this new expectation coincided with the holidays, which meant it was a perfect time to connect with people. It’s so hard to keep in contact with everyone during the year, but I think I’ll have to plan a weekly hour into my schedule next semester for it, because I can’t believe how many people are willing to give their time and attention to mentor me. I’ve reached out to the many mentors I’ve known at home and Wellesley in order to help me answer these questions.

Interestingly, there are common themes, but everyone differs in the specifics of their advice. I’ve heard an MD/PhD is a bad idea. I’ve heard it’s a good idea. I hear taking pre-med classes is a must. I hear that I should take classes I enjoy. I hear that continuity is important. I hear that I should reach out to new experiences. I’ve learned that there are “med school” grad schools and “grad school” grad schools, and that I should prepare for both, or just one. I hear from everyone that research is key. I hear from everyone that there’s a lot of opportunity. I hear from everyone that it was nice to hear from me, and to ask any questions of them. I hear kindness. I hear love. I hear, over and over, that it’s my choice.

Well, this blog has once again ended up delving into the confused swirl that is my future :). There is always a bit of stress associated with being unsure, but on the whole I am content with how my questioning process has been evolving. I love that I can do anything, and yet am still approaching the fine line of adulthood. I understand that now is a time when nobody quite knows what they are doing, but we will all get there anyway. I appreciate that no matter what the decisions I make, I will have the opportunity to take a different path. I know that I will end up happy, no matter what. And I most love that there are people who love me, and people who are almost strangers, both of whom are willing to give advice to one more naïve sophomore in need :).

Best to you all, and I love comments and questions always.

Monica