Move with it.
Move with the prickles of anxiety of living in a new place, new transportation, new job. Move with the fear of not creating my own project yet, not being ready, what if I disappoint you? Move with the excitement of rooming with friends, of living in the city, of doing something new. Move with the research opportunity—that pressure to do well, that potential. Today I’m moving into my MIT frat house in Boston, and tomorrow morning I start my summer research internship at Harvard Medical School.
Be on your game, everyone says. I want 100% for as long as you can give it. During my week at the Illinois Summer Neuroscience Institute, I asked their graduates: “Is science always so hard? Does everyone work as hard as you, or are there other jobs?” Well, they said, I heard on a TED Talk that 95 percent of jobs are either hard or boring. Citing TED Talks, falling off that edge: I hope this will be my life.
Move with a weeklong institute spent with new friends. We toured the U of Illinois’s simulator lab, their MRI machines, played with mice, dissected sheep brains, and listened to research talks. We shadowed graduate students, heard about their experiences, walked through the application process, went bowling at night. Just pour in attention and social grins: work and play at its best. I learned much about my future career, and left enlivened by what I still need to do. Pressure again, and potential. A pairing to embrace.
School’s over, and I expected a wave of realization to hit, reminding me of how far I’ve come and how far I’ve yet to go. It hasn’t hit yet—I forget these things only happen twice a year. I’ve already had my breakdown in February; I’ve a few months to go until the next. Grades come out next week or so; school doesn’t start again until September. Move with it.
Sweep along with vacation. My institute first: so much science, so much friends; and these past two days have been the best vacation I could wish for. Two nights in a real bed, sleeping more than eight hours, rain pounding on the roof in a thunderstorm. Meeting up with family, staying with my sister and father, uncle and aunt, seeing movies. Star Trek, the prequel, then Star Trek, in theaters. Sitting in the car singing to the music on high. Walking around campus, talking about our people. Sitting silent, staring out at cornfields. Playing trivia with my cousins.
Thank you for those who serve and who served. I watch President Obama give a speech; I hear the somber horn’s melody on the airport TV. Thank you.
That’s all I have, readers. Questions and comments welcome as always. So much to play with, so many places left to go. Move with it.
Monica
My Illinois Summer Neuroscience Institute (ISNI) roommate, Kirsten!
ISNI at its best 🙂