All the little successes

Hello readers!

Just putting it out there, I think this is my hardest semester yet. It has now bypassed sophomore year spring, when the combination of Vision & Art and Organic Chemistry 2 was delivering a heck of a workload! Who knew senior fall (… please not senior spring too. Be intelligent, future Monica!) would end up this crazy?

On the other hand I’m almost ridiculously productive. And as I spend more time at MIT, I see that this frenetic pace only augments as a professor. I have no idea how they do it all the time—so many people wanting their attention, so many things that they do, cramming every minute with activity. At least I’m only busy. No one’s asking for my attention or relying on me, so I’m free to isolate myself for seven-hour chunks of time if I need to. I think that’s why my sleeping schedule has shifted later this year—there’s so much stimulation during the day that I feel like I can only really work if it’s dark out, everyone’s asleep, I can turn my internet and clock off and think.

And yet, so many opportunities. I see why this happens—you think, “oh, that would be great to do”, and “that too”, and “oh, that’d be so much fun as well,” and then you’re in a situation where you don’t really have time to hang out on Friday nights but wow, look at all of the awesome things you’re learning. I had TWO back-to-back Miracle Days on Monday and Tuesday. I can’t even remember everything that happened, but I know that I had to make up a new term for how absolutely excellently those two days went. Please settle in as I recount all the happiness that I recall ;P.

As an introduction, I have several pressure points this semester—that’s a new term this year. I care so much about these things that they exist in a low-level stress state pretty much always, which is why it’s extremely cathartic when they are relieved. Successes are thus the best thing ever, and I just had a whole string of successes! The pressure points are: the Churchill Scholarship, my Thesis Part 1, my Thesis Part 2, and Grad School Iteration A Gazillion :P.

First, the Churchill Scholarship. I have not regaled you with any wonkiness that has occurred concerning the Churchill Scholarship, but the main problem was that the advisor I was going to work with backed out at the last minute, so I was scrambling to find a new advisor and rewrite all of my materials. As I am so fond of telling people: EVERYTHING IS GREAT NOW! My first advisor at the University of Cambridge recommended another advisor at the University, and after ten days the new advisor agreed to let me work in her lab! Moreover, I asked and all four of my Wellesley professors have agreed or already submitted an average of three recommendation letters to different institutions. Plus, my new advisor passed off on my research proposal (YES!) and I passed the Wellesley interview stage and was selected as Wellesley’s nominee! Plus everyone involved is on board with what I’m doing, I haven’t written any bad emails, and my applications to the University of Cambridge are almost completed. Guess who is almost done with this scholarship application? Monica is, Monica is!

Whew, it’s been a rollercoaster. I have to rewrite a few more things, but I’m finally almost done with this application. Throughout, I have been incredibly supported by Dr. Ellen Hildreth and Liz Mandeville at the CWS (Center for Work and Service), who have been matching me step-by-step and solving every single problem with me. I came into this scholarship not sure I was capable of it, and I’m coming out of it so much more aware of the supportive people in my life and where I see my future. It’s been a long trek since I started work on in the front seat of my family’s car driving to Wellesley. Thanks to Ellen and Liz and all the time everyone has put into this, I’ve come through with so much more confidence in my abilities and much more aware of what I’m hoping to achieve in the future. (I’m also going to use this for an essay about challenges I overcame if anyone asks me for one. Sure, it was mostly an internal battle waged sitting in bed and arguing with my computer about how much I could fit on my Desktop, but I sort of feel like a champion anyway ;P).

Pressure point number 2: thesis part 1!

All I can say is, thank goodness I’m not a grad student. Their thesis determines whether they academically live or die—well, to undramatize it, if they’re going to be able to graduate in five years or not :). Mine I just have to put in my hours and make sure everyone’s happy with me :).

I had my thesis meeting last week! It went astonishingly well—I had some very constructive comments as we fleshed out the details of my proposal (how hue changes with luminance), and all three of my thesis advisors seemed to agree. However, I was still frustrated because I’d been trying to calibrate a monitor to show all the color stimuli I needed for my experiment, but it wasn’t happening. I kept on telling people that—“Kaitlin, this isn’t possible,” “no really, it actually isn’t happening,” “no I don’t think it’s actually conceivable for it to happen this way, I have no idea how we did it seven years ago” “no PLEASE BELIEVE ME IT’S NOT HAPPENING” and then I finally provided them proof and we all agreed it wasn’t happening ;). Then, even better, out of desperation (and Kaitlin advising me) I tried to calibrate the monitor at Harvard Medical School where the other non-undergraduate half of our lab lives. And guess what? I discovered on Tuesday that it’s happening there!

I spent this weekend sleeping over in the lab and calibrating the monitor. It turns out that the couch in the kitchen is actually probably as comfortable as my bed at Wellesley. Needless to say I had quite an adventure there, especially as the two people I was getting help from run opposite schedules (Josh is up until 3am. Kaitlin needed me up at 7am.) But I had some questionable success, but really, it’s all in the little things. Happy advisors and sort-of-calibrated colors mark many flowers and rainbows for me :).

Pressure point number 3: my thesis part 2!

… So I have a dual thesis, meaning that I’m trying to do the experimental part of my thesis in the fall, and then do the modeling part in the spring. I’m also doing a really cool combination in that what I’m proposing to do in the spring is going to be an extension of my major modeling project for 9.66 Computational Cognitive Science this fall.

(Let me tell you, if you can combine things, do it. I have like six different research proposals I’m writing this semester, and they all have their own literatures that I know nothing about, and it’s ultra convenient to be able to do research on several projects at once. I was actually trying to do them all independently and totally ran out of time. I’m attempting to be smarter now.)

I’ve been meeting with Dr. Ellen Hildreth every week to talk about this, and we just had a gigantic success: I know what I’m going to be doing! Do not underestimate how hard it is to figure out a good research project for a senior undergraduate. Hard work and lots of reading and major investment from both parties. I’m so thankful to Ellen for how much she’s been dealing with me this semester, especially given how busy she is. I’m just so pleased I have a project and now all I need to do is do it :).

Pressure point number 4: Grad School Iteration a Gazillion

… You know, this one was just such a special experience that I’m going to save the details for another day :). Essentially, I had a meeting with Dr. Fee, who I took 9.40 Introduction to Computational Neuroscience last semester, and he told me I had a good chance of getting into MIT and introduced me to Dr. Rebecca Saxe and tried to introduce me to others. It was so, so kind of him, and it was one of those things where I still can’t really believe it happened in real life. The best things.

All right, readers, that’s all about me :). Because I’ve been so self-involved here, I’ve completely missed out on all of the other things happening on campus. I picked up the campus newspaper recently and read about the article in the New York Times, but haven’t been able to think about and formulate my own thoughts on it yet. I recognized an awesome picture of Kaden, who was in my P.E. class last fall, but am not involved in the large response on campus and within the alumni community. That’s definitely something I’m missing out on in terms of being part in a community like Wellesley. I love listening to the discussions here, in breadth, intelligence, and depth.

I’ll end it here, as I’ve just come back from a dinner with friends in Bates, and now I get to go work out and then shower! Nothing like friends, family, and professors to make all the shenanigans seem worthwhile.

‘Til next time!

Monica