Hello Everyone!
This past week has been crazy! So. Much. Snow!!
^This icicle though!! It’s outside my friend Caitlin McCarey’s room, in Tower. You get a nice glimpse of Tower’s architecture in the back 🙂
This snow bank is taller than Katie! Who’s 5’10”!
Icicles…!
Crazy snow and icicles aside though, I’m really excited to be writing today. I’ve actually had something on my mind a lot lately.
It’s the notion of belonging. Like, truly belonging.
It became clear to me this year that my friend group from first year is shrinking. I only have a few good friends on campus now- which I’m grateful for, don’t get me wrong. It’s just different from the loose, sprawling friend network I feel like I had last year. I knew a lot of people at a very shallow level (and I don’t mean that with a negative connotation), but now I know a handful of people at a much deeper level. (Shout out to those friends, you know who you are.)
And the thing is, I think that’s natural. As first years, we’re all kind of new and unattached and adrift, and a lot of us latch on to the first people who come along, who are usually (not surprisingly) people we live near, people we have classes with, people we share extracurricular activities with.
This year, I’ve been feeling more of a disconnect with my friends from last year, at no one’s fault specifically. We simply live in separate dorms now, have more major-focused classes, and have joined/discovered extracurriculars to which we dedicate a lot of time.
Two friends of mine specifically were talking with me about this phenomenon (the shrinking-friend-group phenomenon) and they both said they were thinking of joining a society on campus. I said I’d never pictured myself as a society/sorority girl. They said they hadn’t either, but that the society they were looking at seemed really chill, not too big of a time commitment, and not too frat-party focused.
Well, long story short, the three of us both went to one of the teas this society held. (A tea is kind of Wellesley’s version of rushing.) It was classy. There were cheese and cracker platters, as well as real teacups and tea. I met some really cool people in the society. So did my two friends.
I’ve been thinking a lot about this though, and I don’t think I’ll apply to join this society at the end of tea season. (I think each society holds like 4 teas and at the end there’s an application process? But I’m not the expert on Wellesley societies.) I think the reason behind my decision is still my affinity for meeting people organically. What I mean by that is, I prefer to meet people through natural means, not…manufactured (?) (perhaps not the best word choice) means. And of course one could argue that meeting people through a society/sorority/Greek life in general is still organic. I guess I just really like how I made all my current friends: mutual friends, mutual living spaces, and mutual interests (climbing).
I still very much support my friends in joining this society though. I really hope they get in. I was watching them network/socialize yesterday and they clicked well with a lot of the girls in the society! I think they’ll enjoy it. Plus this society has a house on campus to which every member gets a key, and everyone is allowed to hang out there whenever. It’s a super nice house and I can definitely see the draw of having your own space on campus, shared with a really tight-knit group of girls who will always be there for you. I definitely see the allure of societies/Greek life. I just don’t think it’s for me.
Which is what’s great about Wellesley. There are so, so, so many different types of people here, and Wellesley’s resources make it possible for each and every one of us to find our niche.
If Wellesley didn’t have the buses that take us to and from Boston every single day, I wouldn’t have a lot of the really good friends I currently have. I owe a lot to Wellesley and to that bus.
I’ve found “my people” off campus. Aka the climbing community. (And I truly feel like these are my people. We’re all very attracted to this technical, mental sport, we’re super laid back, and the woodsy/minimalistic/rough-it personality definitely describes most members of the community. I now have a solid group of friends at my gym, mostly within the 23-30 age range, who all work here, and I love it. I love them.) I’m actually currently sitting at Metro typing this blog post. I injured my finger recently, so I can’t climb, but I’m still here because I love this place. I come here 3-5 times a week to hang out, visit my friends, and study. Katie and I even came on Monday when we had the snow day haha. We had the entire day free so we figured we’d make a trip out!
I also made some Northeastern friends at the beginning of last semester (you may remember me blogging about them) and they’re also very dear to me. And once again, I owe my friendship with them to Wellesley’s thoughtfulness in providing easy, efficient transportation to Boston.
In fact, here are some photos of my friends when we hung out on Monday (yes, the snow day; they made the trek out as well, although it’s a much shorter commute from NU.)
These friends were phenomenal to me and Katie Monday night actually. The T (subway) and commuter rail both shut down due to the “state of emergency” (oh, yeah) in Boston, and Wellesley’s buses weren’t running. But they took us to NU via Uber, ate dinner with us, and then two of them rented a Zipcar to drive us back to Wellesley. If that’s not the epitome of dedicated friendship, I don’t know what is. And it gets better. (Or worse, depending on how you look at it haha.) Because when we got to the Zipcar, it looked like this:
Erik and Jake spent a solid 10 minutes shoveling everything out and scraping the windows clean, etc. They turned on the car so it was warm inside where Katie and I sat and waited. (For the record, I wanted to help but there were only 2 scrapers/shovels available.)
And then it gets better. Because we had to get gas for the Zipcar. But the car got stuck in a snow drift in the driveway to the gas station. So Jake and Erik got out and commenced shoveling some more. And it was cold, and their hands were cold, and it was late, and they could have been inside their dorms or something or doing anything but shoveling out a Zipcar to drive two girls back to Wellesley.
But they stuck to it. And what’s more they never let us do any of the shoveling. In the end I got in the driver’s seat and put the car in reverse while Erik and Jake pushed the car from the front. Again, pushing a car out of a snow drift vs. being dry and warm in your dorm room…anyone?
Also- just by the way, the car was a Prius. Why is there a Prius, with front wheel drive, in Boston, where it snows??
Anyway, we eventually got home. And when Jake pulled up to Pom (Pomeroy, my dorm) he was like, “YOU LIVE IN A CASTLE.” Haha. It hadn’t occurred to me before, but my NU friends have never been to Wellesley!! I must bring them sometime and show them around! We only ever hung out in Boston in the past.
But I mean—these boys didn’t have to any of the things they did for us that night! They did it out of pure friendship. And I’m glad I found such a good group of people who were willing to be my friends.
Anyway, I love my NU friends more than they know, and I’m very glad I found them at Metro’s collegiate sleepover last semester. I’m glad I have my niches and my groups of friends…and I hope my two Wellesley friends will find theirs soon.
Here’s to letting friend groups morph and change freely, staying close to friends even if they occupy different niches than you, and finding “your people”.
To those in the Northeast, stay warm! To those blessed enough to be living anywhere above 0 degrees right now, relish in your good fortune and send some of your warmth over!
Until next week,
~Emily