Hello~!
I’ve been slacking lately and not really writing ACTUAL blog posts so I’m going to make up for that by writing a very heartfelt post today.
I am so incredibly grateful for Wellesley. In this moment, and always. I just came back from a super invigorating and inspiring dinner with a new friend, Mojia. She’s only a first year and she’s already started her own non-profit AND a business. She got funding from the Clinton Foundation and has MET Bill, Hilary, and Chelsea Clinton. She also went to UWC (United World College) for her last two years of high school, and before that she grew up in Beijing. It was her decision to apply to UWC and leave the country, not her parents’.
Real quick digression: I’ve decided (and I acknowledge that I may or may not change my mind in the future; but for the moment, I’ve decided) that I want my child(ren) to go to UWC and my daughter(s) to go to Wellesley. I’ve met 4 people from UWC at Wellesley now and they’ve all been phenomenal and if you don’t know what UWC is please google it – it’s a super cool organization!
And what I loved best about tonight is that there are amazing people like Mojia all over campus. The entire student body is filled with such competent, strong, smart, confident, and fierce people, and most of them (the student body I mean; not those who fulfill that description) are women. And it is just so…it is so incredibly enlightening, inspiring, and breathtaking to think that I go to school with these people. It is such a privilege. I cannot believe I am surrounded by so many capable, powerful, successful women. And I am inspired by my friends who don’t identify as female, too, trust me. But it really is breathtaking to think of the sheer number of strong, accomplished WOMEN that I am surround by on a day to day basis. It really does change my perspective on the world, and is slowly unwinding and undoing the years of male-centric existence I’ve led up until now. People aren’t necessarily better than others because they’re male. People aren’t necessarily more fit for leadership than others because they’re male. People aren’t necessarily more capable because they’re male. The way I see it now, if one person is better than another at something, it is due to their individual person; the whole aspect of gender is erased.
I’ve also come to realize that feminism isn’t synonymous with man-hating. Not that I thought feminism was man-hating before – I simply had no concept of what it might mean, except that sometimes people used it derogatorily. Now I’ve come to realize that it simply argues for the social, economic, and political equality of the sexes. And some may argue that in that case, the label of “feminism” is misleading, and that perhaps it should be “equalism”. I see that point, but I also feel like because the female gender is the disadvantaged one, the one that’s “catching up” to the other gender, and the one that’s being advocated for, it makes sense that the movement/belief be named “feminism”. Thoughts?
On a totally different topic – Mojia and I were talking about how there are three types of people when it comes to people who want to work for a humanitarian cause and change the world for the better. There are 1) people who will volunteer their time, and forever remain volunteers 2) people who will start an organization, and may or may not stay to continue managing that organization (if not, they pass it off to others to manage) and 3) people like Bill Gates who make a ton of money and give back in the form of money.
And I hadn’t realized it, but I’ve been pursuing path #3 my whole life when I’ve always wanted to be on path #2. I kid you not, from when I was a very young age (my diary entries confirm this), I firmly believed that I would one day start an organization that would change the world for the better. I had (and still have) no idea what that organization will be or for what cause it will exist, but I somehow have faith that that’s what I will do one day.
And until now, my mantra has been: make a ton of money for yourself first, and then give back in the form of money. Plus then you’ll be able to fund whatever organization you start yourself, and won’t always have to be asking for donations.
And that makes sense. But there’s also something to be said for “if not now, when?”. If I spend all my youthful years slaving away to make millions, will I still have the energy to run my own organization one day?
But there’s ALSO something to be said for being financially secure until you discover what it is that you are so passionate about that you want to dedicate your life to it. Because right now, I don’t think I’ve found that yet. And until I find that, I don’t think I’d have the courage to drop everything (and the life I’ve built for myself) to pursue starting my own organization. I will also admit that fear is a huge factor. Fear of making the wrong decision. Fear of having walked away from the life I knew and all the comfort that came with it – just to fail epically. That is definitely a real fear.
But I also trust that one day I will so 100% believe in whatever it is that I am pursuing that all that fear will just fall away. I have faith that it will fall away like paint chips. And what’s left will be all the fiery passion I have for that one thing. You know? I’m not sure if that makes sense.
I also realize that I’m baring a lot in this one blog post, and that it’s probably a deeper dive into my inner mind than you bargained for. But, this rambling, disconnected post is really more for me, I think. To sort out my thoughts via writing. To word vomit everything and talk/write through my thought process.
Please feel free to stop reading whenever.
Something else Mojia said was that every decision she’s made (like turning down Beijing University to go to UWC and go through the US college application process and face the risk of not being accepted into a school as good as or better than Beijing University; AND turning down Harvard to come to Wellesley) has been backed by a desire for personal growth. All her choices have been made to maximize personal growth.
And when I heard that, I couldn’t help but feel overwhelming respect and admiration for this girl. (And I told her so.) Because it takes incredible courage to make choices that are out of the ordinary – and which many would say is stupid (like turning down Harvard) – out of a firm desire to improve oneself. It takes courage to prioritize personal development over name brands and society’s definition of “right” and “successful”.
It’s funny, I actually didn’t want to come to Wellesley at first. When I was accepted, I waved my hand and said I’d wait until the other acceptances rolled in and that Wellesley wouldn’t cross my mind again. I’m so glad I didn’t get accepted into any Ivy’s though (that’s what forced me to reconsider Wellesley). Because I think Wellesley has been (and will continue to be) SO good for me. It’s been so beneficial for me to come here. I can’t even begin to tell you, but in a nutshell: my confidence was in the gutters when I entered college; now I’m happy with – and proud of – who I am. A huge reason for that is thanks to Wellesley. And it might not be clear why, but it’d be too long of an explanation for right now; perhaps in a future blog post.
But anyway, I’m so glad I didn’t get accepted to any Ivy’s, because past-Emily had a priority system that is very different from present-Emily’s, and she probably would’ve opted to go to a co-ed Ivy. I’m also glad the final decision came down to Berkeley, Middlebury, and Wellesley, because Berkeley was easy – I had, and will always have, absolutely no desire to sit in a lecture class with 1000 other students, where my professors won’t know my name, and where I might not graduate on time because the classes I need to take fill up so quickly every semester. Middlebury and Wellesley was harder but it came down to location. The nearest big city to Midd is in Canada.
Funny, but Wellesley being a women’s college never factored into my decision. I was neither for nor against it. I guess I was just neutral. And I knew I’d do just fine; I wasn’t scared of being “isolated” from boys. But I don’t think I gave women’s colleges enough credit. I should’ve valued my Wellesley acceptance so much more than I did. It shouldn’t even have been a question which school I’d go to once my Wellesley acceptance came.
But alas, I was ignorant and quite naive. But I am so, so grateful that circumstances were such that I ended up at Wellesley. Endlessly grateful. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. And while it hasn’t always been easy (Wellesley truly is tough, and not just academically; physically, mentally, and emotionally, too) I am still grateful. In fact, I’m grateful that Wellesley has been as tough as it was for me. (And I know I’m writing as if I’m graduating, but I do still have 2 more years.) But I really am grateful that Wellesley is the school that it is, and grateful that it was kind of emotional hell for me at one point. (Last semester was so rough that I considered transferring. But even so, I’m grateful I went through that, and that Wellesley put me through that, because I’m stronger now for it, and I also appreciate Wellesley more for it. I don’t know if that makes sense.)
Anyway. Wow. 1,685 words. I think I’ll stop here. It’s a bit abrupt, I know. But I’m kind of all talked out. My word vomiting and processing-thoughts-via-writing has run out of steam.
I just want to say again though: I am so, so grateful for Wellesley. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.
Alright.
Until next week!
~Emily