As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, the transition back to living on campus hasn’t exactly been easy for me this semester. I’ve found myself being really unmotivated to get anything done and constantly waiting for the time in between classes, after homework and practice times and meetings are over and I can just lie in my bed and pretend my responsibilities don’t exist. It’s definitely not an ideal way to spend the term, and I’ve finally decided to do something about it.
At 4 o’clock this afternoon, after spending most of the morning and all of the afternoon sitting at my desk, eating Doritos, dinking around on my laptop, and getting absolutely nothing done, I started writing this blog post, and realized immediately that things had to change. I’ve been whining to Anastasija for weeks about how I’m wasting all of my time, but I wasn’t bothered enough to actually stop wasting it.
No more! From today forward, this I declare: no more will I leave unfolded laundry on my extra bed for two days. No more will I skim chapters of War and Peace and my history readings; instead, I will read thoroughly, take notes, and think critically about what I’ve read. No more will I procrastinate papers and write last minute discussion questions. No more will I spend all of my free time alone in my room.
Starting today, I’ll pick my traditions from last semester back up. I’ll remove my distractions, start making to-do lists again, and I’ll actually follow through with them. I’ll start using my diffuser, going on walks to places other than class, and opening the window when it’s warmer out. I’ll study outside, book time in the library, and spend time at the Science Center with Anastasija. I’ll start writing letters to my family again and use my free time to do productive things like knit or read a book. I’ll snack less and spend more time hanging out with Anastasija, and I’ll start working on my longer term to-do list items. I’ll spend more time focusing on my carillon music and more time listening to new music. I’ll watch movies and cool documentaries and talk to more people. I’ll finally get caught up with Birthday Fairy duties and attend office hours for both of my classes. I’ll practice guitar more, because I brought it with me for a reason and that reason wasn’t so it could collect dust in the corner of my dorm room. I’ll clean out my email and reply to texts that have been sitting in my inbox for months and I will take control of everything in my life, because by golly I am not Pierre Bezukhov, I am Andrei Bolkonsky and I refuse to let life just happen to me! I will make things happen and I will learn and grow and get good grades because this is the first time I’ll have an actual college GPA and I refuse to let myself ruin it this early.
Thankfully, my plans for this weekend all fit perfectly into my resolve to change. On Friday night, Anastasija and I have plans to order pizza from Old School Pizzeria in the town of Wellesley and continue where we left off on the first season of America’s Next Top Model before break in December. On Saturday afternoon, I’ll be playing for Cari-Radio, the Guild’s first Open Tower concert of the semester! I’ll be playing “Skye Boat Song”, a Scottish folk song and the current theme song for the TV show Outlander, and “Liz On Top of the World” from the 2005 Pride & Prejudice soundtrack, a favorite of mine that I’ve carried over from last semester. Anastasija and I have plans to go exploring different parts of campus we haven’t yet visited on Saturday night, and in between all of this I’ll be pulling sources for my next history paper- I’m planning to meet with my professor to discuss structuring the essay during office hours on Monday, so I want to be as prepared as possible beforehand- and reading War and Peace, which I’ll also be using to prepare for an essay. I’m not 100% certain what I want to write my essay on yet- given that I haven’t finished the book- but I think it’ll definitely be centered around Andrei and the relationships he has with other characters. I’m hoping to go to office hours for that class on Thursday next week, if only to rant about my absolute hatred of Pierre to Professor Hodge.
Even though I only made the plans to switch things around about two hours ago, I’m feeling pretty confident in my new resolve and I really think this has a chance to stick. There are only two weeks left in the term, and I’m going to make the best of each and every one of those days!
Sending you joy,
A