Hello blog, and happy last blog of the year!
This post is coming in late because I’ve been thinking about what I want to say for a week now and I’m still having trouble finding the right words. I thought for a little bit about just ending with last week’s post, but I think that a wrap up is pretty necessary for this crazy year.
Nothing about this year was anything like I had expected my first year of college to be; then again, nothing about this year was anything like anyone had expected it to be. When I left my high school for the last time last March, I had 100% expected things to go back to normal in about two weeks. It wasn’t really until July that I started to realize how much the pandemic was going to shape the beginning of my college experience. Instead of spending a full day moving in with my family and introducing them to my roommate and all of the people on my hall that would hopefully over the next couple of months become my best friends, my dad dropped me off at a hotel for my second COVID test a week after my entire state had been wrecked by a natural disaster. Five days later, I moved in on my own to a room with an extra set of furniture, because part of social distancing was eliminating roommates for the year. I spent a week getting to know all of the other students from high incidence states in my dorm before my blockmates came, and spent the year getting COVID tested twice a week, taking two accelerated classes at a time on a brand new term system, and staying six feet away from anyone and everyone on campus. It was hard, but throughout it all I tried as best as I could to stay optimistic, and it ended up paying off.
I won’t lie to you and say that I really enjoyed this year, because I think when it comes down to it it was one of the most difficult experiences of my life. I struggled a lot with loneliness, with trying to fit in, and with trying to figure out who I was and who I really wanted to be. No matter how hard it got at times, though, if you were to ask me if I would do it all over again, my answer would be yes. Without a doubt, yes.
I have learned so much this year. I have learned that the world is not really what I thought it was. I have learned I am not really who I thought I was, and that I don’t actually know myself at all. I’m so grateful for everything I’ve had to work through this year, because I have come out of all of it a much more thoughtful and conscious person than I was the first time I stepped on campus. I’ve met so many incredible people and had so many important conversations that I will remember for the rest of my life. I have been completely humbled by my experiences at Wellesley- in the best way- and I am so extraordinarily excited to see how the next year is going to help me grow. Freshman year has been a year of realisation, and I’m hoping that sophomore year will be a year of action; I’ve spent this year figuring out who I’m not and what I don’t want, and sophomore year will be all about learning who I am and what I do want. Three months from now, I’ll be back here telling you all about how ready I am to completely dominate my second year at Wellesley, and I honestly can’t wait for that. For now, I’m going to make the most of my summer and my break from school, and I hope that next time I step foot onto Wellesley’s campus, some of you are there with me, ready to take on your own first year of college! No matter what next year looks like, no matter what changes and doesn’t change and whatever crazy things get thrown at us, I know one thing will be for sure: it’s going to be worth it.
Sending you joy!