It’s a Hard-Knock Life: Advice from one alumna that learned the hard way

Time is a wonderful thing if you know how to use it well.

This time last year, I had finished new graduate student orientation and I was prepared (or so I thought) to start what everyone warned me would be the hardest year of grad school—the first. Nervous but excited to begin and do SCIENCE (!), I was already dreaming about the next 5-ish years of my life. I was executing my ambition to pursue a PhD in chemistry and do great science. After all, I graduated from Wellesley, feeling inspired and ready to be a ‘woman who will’ and achieved a lot. Yet, TA-ing full time, taking on challenging graduate-level chemistry courses, and figuring out who my principal investigator will be (my boss) was a lot to handle and an adjustment, especially coming from the wonderful, near-magical place that is Wellesley. I also had to manage a few unforeseen problems and long story short, nearly all of that hope and eager anticipation dissipated as grad school started in earnest. After talking to family, friends, and my incredible mentor at Wellesley, I resolved to change my mentality. That is, to take things day by day and to not worry about the big picture. However, I had reached the ‘burn-out’ point and no longer had the upbeat attitude and clear head that are absolutely necessary to successfully complete a PhD. Fast forward a few months and I’m back home, on an extended break from my PhD program, although I still have the option of continuing it. In this time, I’ve been recalibrating, sorting out my life goals, and reflecting on the events of the past year.

I have three pieces of advice to offer for those transitioning into a new career, considering graduate school, or simply pondering life:

  1. Be mindful of and honest about who you are as a person and act accordingly. Before coming to grad school, I felt that I had a good grasp of who I was, yet, I knew I had to grow more, especially in the real world. I, being a chemistry major, spent a staggering number of hours at the Science Center and combined with the demands of Wellesley, it left minimal time for much else. It is of paramount importance that you take time to know yourself and in whatever you pursue outside of Wellesley, and make conscious decisions that align with that knowledge. You will be much better off knowing that you are honest with yourself and listened to your instincts.
  2. Know your Wellesley roots and carry them with you wherever you go. When I had my freak-out moment, after talking to family, I contacted the other important people in my life, namely my Wellesley friends and mentor. Also, I’ve contacted several Wellesley alums who’ve all been responsive and helpful and gave a lot of support (the W Network is AMAZING!). Having that network of people to lean on is crucial to overcome life’s obstacles. It was only after starting grad school that I realized how much Wellesley changed me because I met different people with radically different mentalities. Wellesley transforms you for the good and you only understand this after graduating. Be sure to bring Wellesley everywhere; it makes a difference. Which brings me to the last point, previously aforementioned:
  3. Time is a wonderful thing if you know how to use it well. When I decided to pursue a PhD in chemistry, another question was when? Should I apply directly from Wellesley or wait and work in the industry or do something totally different? I ultimately decided on the former, feeling that I was ready to do grad school and a break, although beneficial, would just delay the inevitable. Given how things turned out, I should’ve made a better decision for myself. Graduating from Wellesley is a major milestone but the path leading to that hard-earned B.A. is a long and taxing one. I was definitely exhausted after senior year,and even before, and a break would’ve provided time to recharge. Also, given that I was a cloistered Wellesley student, a break would’ve allowed me to adjust to the real world without the demands of grad school. Finally, going from Wellesley to grad school directly was a lot like doing more of the same. Something different would’ve been a welcome change of pace and allowed me the luxury of time to think about my post-Wellesley career. If I then went on to graduate school, the transition and managing it all would’ve been loads easier.

Paraphrasing Professor Melissa Harris-Perry in her speech at the 2012 Wellesley Commencement, all I just wrote is advice after a hard learning experience. Do what you feel is right with it and I’m certain you will succeed.

– Lisa M. Jacob ’12

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