Re: “A Tragedy that Highlights Kids’ Plight” (04/03/2015) by Xiao Lixin
Xiao Lixin’s Op-Ed identifies the plight of Chinese children and urges teachers and parents to relieve their pressure. But he fails to see that, while the enormous pressure from school is the underlying problem, the major cause for this particular tragedy was the adults’ disregard for the child’s emotional needs.
Most Chinese parents are used to scolding, taunting, and making fun of their kids without even thinking that these actions can traumatize the young minds. Adults seem to forget that when they were children they too wanted to be respected and understood. Once people become old enough to have authority over the younger generation, they start to depersonalize children, doing just as their elders did to them. Even at school, where educators should know better than parents, berating and public shaming still remain in the repertoire of teachers who want to make their students behave.
I wonder what the 11 year-old was feeling when the teacher asked her parents to bring her home to finish homework. The headmaster said that no one thought the girl would take any drastic action, since the teacher and the parents “communicated in a friendly manner.” But the young girl’s emotional state was not mentioned. Nor would the adults have paid any attention. To them, she was simply being difficult.
Chinese adults must break this habit if they want to prevent more tragedies from happening. They should actively seek to recognize and understand children’s emotional needs instead of treating them as non-existent. The tragedy in Hangzhou will hopefully serve as a reminder to all teachers and parents that children’s minds are not computer disks that can be formatted again and again after being hurt. Their delicate hearts should be treated with respect and care.