May 17th is Syttende Mai, or Constitution Day, in Norway. It’s the country’s biggest national holiday, a time when Norwegians celebrate their country and heritage. It’s the best day of the year! my friend Daniel had written to me when I confirmed that I would visit him after my final exams. Everyone will be all dressed up, so make sure to wear something nice. I stuffed a black dress, a pair of tights, and ballet flats in my backpack, hoping that that would suffice. Mostly, I was excited to visit my childhood friend, whom I hadn’t seen in quite a few years. I booked my tickets for May 16th to 18th—a short trip, but at least I would get to experience some true Norwegian national pride.
Daniel and I have been friends for most of our lives; we grew up in Italy together and both had Italian dads and foreign, English-speaking moms—his was Norwegian-American, mine was just American. Both of our mothers found comfort in speaking English to each other—a rare experience in a relatively small, not very tourist-centered Italian town. As kids, Daniel and I would always speak Italian with each other, but this changed when he moved to Norway in 10th grade. Now, we speak exclusively in English. During the trip, the only time I heard Daniel speak Italian was when he was talking to his sister’s boyfriend, who had just moved to Oslo from Tuscany and was still having a hard time mastering English and Norwegian.
I spent my first night in Oslo on the sofa in Daniel’s apartment—shocked to see the sun rising at 3 a.m. I put a pillow over my face to block out the light: I knew I would need plenty of rest to prepare for the next day’s celebrations. Indeed, we woke up at 7 a.m. to take the metro to Daniel’s mother’s house and pick up his traditional outfit. We skipped breakfast—he told me that after seeing his mother, we would be going to a champagne brunch at his friend’s house. This, he confirmed, is how all good Norwegians start their celebration of the best day of the year.
We took the metro to his mother’s neighborhood. On the train, there were people dressed in elegantly tailored dresses, suits, and overcoats—looking poised and chic. I was starting to feel underprepared for the day. I felt even more underdressed when I noticed that the majority of people on the train were dressed in colorful outfits with embroidered vests and puffy white shirts. The men wore cropped jackets, short pants and knee-length wool socks, while the women wore petticoats and beautiful, intricate dresses. Daniel explained that they were all wearing the bunad—the traditional outfit that he would be putting on at his mother’s house. His Norwegian grandparents had recently bought him a bunad and this would be the first Syttende Mai he would be celebrating wearing one. Since most of people on the metro were older than us, I asked Daniel if young people wore these outfits as well. He answered that those who didn’t really care about being patriotic or those who didn’t own a bunad didn’t wear one. I began to understand then how much he cared about being a patriotic Norwegian and how much he cared about showing off his traditional outfit.
After we got off the metro, Daniel and I walked up a hill to his mother’s house. Along the way, he pointed out the preschool where he worked, the streets he turned on to get to his friend’s houses, and various other neighborhood landmarks. I was having trouble paying attention to what he was saying, because the neighborhood and the general atmosphere made me feel like I was in a surreal fairytale setting; I half expected one of those trolls that you find in Norwegian tourist shops to pop out of nowhere. The sky was impossibly blue, the clouds were far too fluffy, and the houses, with their sloped roofs and dark wood paneling, all looked like ski lodges.
When we got to his mother’s house, Daniel went upstairs to try on his outfit and make some final adjustments. I sat in front of the TV with his mother, watching the tall, blonde Norwegian royal family exit the palace. From there, they would be taken to the center of Oslo, to greet the people as they did every Syttende Mai. Once in a while, the channel would show newscasters, some of them dressed in traditional clothes and some not, interviewing people all across Norway. Daniel’s mother would sometimes laugh because people from Bergen had very peculiar accents or she would point out the different details on the bunad that indicated which part of the country each person was from. I learned that the traditional outfits of each region had different colors, designs, and embroidered details: the women’s dresses are much more intricate than the men’s outfits, and are therefore a better indicator of origin. I learned that these outfits are typically passed down from generation to generation, and some Norwegians have bunads that are hundreds of years old. When Daniel walked downstairs, he looked incredibly happy: I knew he was proud to finally be able to wear a bunad on May 17th—something that was a true badge of his Norwegian-ness.
At brunch, two things struck me. First, the massive amount of champagne. (I counted the people sitting in the living room. Then I counted the bottles sitting on the counter: there were approximately two per person.) Second, I noted that I was the shortest person in the room by at least a foot—ten-year-olds included. I looked around the room and decided that I should make no attempt to outdrink these Scandinavians towering over me—which was definitely the right decision.
At brunch, I sat with a group of girls, eating fresh salmon and colorful berries. They each told me what part of Norway they were from, and what details on their bunad would indicate this origin. Since we were in Oslo and most of the people at the brunch were students who had come to the city for University, there was a huge variety of colors and designs in the room. I was startled to learn that some of these dresses were insured for $10,000 or more. I knew then why Daniel was so proud to finally own a bunad: although he maintained that his was “cheap,” it was something that confirmed him as a Norwegian, something that showed people around him how proud he was of his country. Now, he could celebrate one of the most Norwegian days of the year as a Norwegian, and be recognized as such, at least by strangers who knew nothing of his mixed background. He didn’t want to be seen as Italian and Norwegian—he wanted to be able to fully embrace his Norwegian identity, especially on such an important day.
It made sense to me then why he was working so hard to get his Norwegian citizenship, even though he might have to give up his Italian citizenship as a result. I was no longer confused as to why he refused to speak to me in Italian. I understood that the bunad would allow him to identify with the country that had become so central to his life. So, on that Syttende Mai, I attempted to join him in singing the Norwegian national anthem: “we love this country/as it rises forth/ rugged, weathered, above the water.”