Tag Archives: by Victoria Yu

An Optimistic Advocate for Chinese Literature

The Harvard-Yenching Institute looks just like any of the other red brick buildings around Harvard. Except it also has two stone lions—door guardians in some Asian traditions—on either side of the path. Upon entering the building, I see a marble staircase that is pristine white, like the walls and hallway around it. The building is quiet, with only the faintest of voices coming from the Yenching Library. Each time someone walks across the tiled floor or a door opens, the sound echoes lightly in the halls. The space simultaneously feels sterile, like a hospital, and sacred, like a temple. Walking towards Professor David Der-Wei Wang’s office feels like a pilgrimage in itself.

That is, until he opens his office door somewhat frantic and apologetic because he needs another five minutes. He hasn’t had lunch yet. When he opens the door again he’s holding a container of Maruchan Cup Noodles. A sense of sympathy rises in me because he was eating ramen that many students avoid unless they have no options left. I wish I had Korean Shin Ramen to offer, a notch better.

Professor David Der-Wei Wang is the Edward C. Henderson Professor of Chinese Literature at Harvard and also has a joint appointment at Harvard in Comparative Literature. He is kind and welcoming, and makes me feel at home despite the earlier awkwardness about the noodles. (Professors of high esteem are human too.) His office is open and filled with natural light, which makes it a comfortable space compared to the immaculate hallways. A look around at his bookshelves gives a glimpse into his wide research interests in modern and contemporary Chinese fiction, late Qing drama, comparative literature theory, modern Taiwanese fiction, and Asian American and diasporic literature.

Wang came to the U.S. from Taiwan many years ago to pursue a M.A. and Ph.D. in Comparative Literature at the University of Wisconsin at Madison after completing his B.A. in Foreign Languages and Literature at the National Taiwan University. Speaking about his love of Comparative Literature, Wang told me, “I thought it was fun. In a way it is a romantic vision to be able to compare and contrast and learn text from various cultural, national, and even continental resources.” His training in foreign literature and cultures laid the foundation for his future work and led him to realize that he couldn’t study Chinese literature independent of world literature. He says, “…[I] actually couldn’t do justice to studying Chinese literature without referring to world literature, because by nature, modern Chinese literature would be nothing without world literature.” He explains that the modern Chinese novel only came into being after the introduction of the European novel, which argues for the inherently Anglo-European nature of the discipline.

Wang is a lively conversationalist. Our discussion covers authors such as Mo Yan, one of the most prominent contemporary writers in China today. We talk about the literature and politics of his 2012 Nobel Prize in Literature and what that means for Chinese writers. We also discuss a Boston local and one of his good friends, the Boston University professor Ha Jin, who is currently exiled from China despite being a popular author on the mainland. We discuss the “Chinese-ness” of the Chinese-French émigré Gao Xinjian, currently based in Paris. Gao won the Nobel Prize in Literature in 2000, but is mostly unknown in Mainland China due to ideological differences with the government. Speaking of these authors, Wang discusses the role of politics in literature, going beyond politics to note the continuing power of literature through today’s new forms, such as the internet novel.

Wang asks students of literature to look at literature beyond its established genre borders and in terms of its future potential. Unlike other China scholars I am aware of, he is optimistic about the role of literature in China despite the prevalent censorship, and I must say his optimism is contagious. Returning to the interplay of Chinese politics and Chinese literature at the end of our interview, he says, “Politics is a lively and even somewhat literary pursuit….” He calls the Chinese Dream—a Chinese version of the “American Dream”—mere poetic propaganda and considers censorship as just political literary analysis. The government can use literary elements and the people can use them as they wish as well. It’s fascinating to see where literature has been in the crossroads of the world and the national and in Western and Eastern perspectives. In the end, Wang tells us to “use our imagination” to define where it will go in the future.

EDITED TRANSCRIPT

Victoria Yu (VY): Speaking of the difference of Western and Chinese notions of world literature, while reading world lit, I feel that its performance. You have to portray a particular image of this country’s life and culture for it to be processed by the rest of the world because the ones choosing what goes into world is still coming from an Anglo-European lens.

Professor David Der-Wei Wang (DW): It’s all too true because comparative literature as a field originated with a continental approach to “literature”. Even literature as a discipline emerged in the 18th century aesthetics with Schindler and Goethe. Secondly, you talk about the uneven development of world lit, inevitable, the orient, Asia, or any say, culture or nation of the second or third world will inevitable have to succumb to the paradigm to world literature with the world – first and foremost – based in continental Europe. That’s something literary critics of the past twenty-some years have tried very hard to take issue with.

Edward Said talked about Orientalism. Either orientalism is projecting the image/vision of the orient or self-orientalizaiton. China is not the only case of one that has to subject itself to tokenism. People have been criticizing tokenism for a very long time. You recognize it, now how do you overcome this fixation od and obsession with certain tokens such China has to have only one Lu Xun and Japan has to have one Kawabata Yasunari. So that’s one way of critiquing it. Fredric Jameson of Duke University, a famous Marxist theoretician, wrote about nations developing their national literature around the notion of national allegory. Jameson meant to be supportive to third world countries, but when he claimed that third world countries could only develop in national allegories, he inevitable worked himself into a corner.

Why can’t we develop our own modernist writing? Why can’t we develop some kind of writing Western writers even cannot imagine, even cannot allegorize, even cannot decipher what we are up to. “National” and “allegory” are both very Western terms. “Nation” was first conceived by Westerners and solidified by Westerners. “Allegory” is biblical and religious. I found it very questionable. So back to the issue of tokenism and it is still an issue of debate. It can work for someone or country’s interest. But sometimes it can be bad.

VY: On the topic of tokenism, I remember when Mo Yan won the 2012 Nobel Literature Prize. Activists blamed him for not advocating for the release of Liu Xiaobo and some literary critics were saying his writing wasn’t good enough.

DW: Mo Yan has been under so much pressure that he couldn’t produce anything new after 2012. That kind of tokenism was imposed upon him by foreign media and domestic expectations. It fits self-orientalization and self-exotification. However, I never understood why the Chinese were so eager about the Nobel. I bet 99% of the Chinese population has never read Mo Yan or even heard of him before 2012. I don’t believe Xi Da Da has ever any of his books.

VY: I remember suddenly his books were in every bookshop and even my mother was gifted a whole set of Mo Yan’s works, so now I have everything at home.

DW: In a way, I feel pleased – better than not winning the award. Chinese pride is being sort of being satisfied and Mo Yan did deserve international recognition. Literature still enjoys some kind of mysterious prestige in China, which is not bad although people don’t read about it. But people want to imagine how great literature really is. That’s a kind of tokenism. That’s what I mean about the proactive sense. The image of literature is really sacrosanct.

VY: So another thing I’ve been thinking about with the Nobel Prize is how literature is China’s push in recent years of the Chinese Dream, how the government has branded Mo Yan as the “First Chinese Nobel Literature Prize Winner” when there was Gao Xinjian before him in the year 2000.

DW: Gao Xinjian is definitely a Chinese writer. He wrote in Chinese. He’s still writing in Chinese. But for one thing, he didn’t and doesn’t agree with the Chinese government agenda. He was stigmatized primarily because of ideology. Literature is never that clean.

VY: I didn’t even know Gao Xinjian existed until I did an independent study to figure out the whole politics behind the Nobel 2012 situation.

DW: Exactly. I remembered Chinese media, backed by the government, came out to say when Gao Xinjian won in 2000 that the Nobel Prize was the most disgusting kind of award to the people of China. This is an award first established by European “Capitalists” and enterprises. And then in 2012, you read the Foreign Ministry’s announcement after Mo Yan’s winning of the Nobel Prize. This time, the Chinese government was thrilled. Either is extreme. If you really are confident in the power of your country, you don’t really bother about either praises or condemnations.

So to go back to where I was, literature was suddenly put on the spot. That’s great. It becomes something for contestation, for debate – better than nothing.

VY: Right. We briefly mentioned Ha Jin in the beginning and I sometimes feel that there aren’t a lot of writer that are who emigrated out of China that are well known. I can only think of Ha Jin and Yan Geling.

DW: Ha Jin, particularly, as an Anglophone writer, is the one and only Chinese writer who could really make it into the arena of English writing in the United States. 99% of his work touches upon political issues but definitely not radical. But Ha Jin is still denied entry visa back to China for political reasons. Which is really ridiculous because on one hand, the People’s Literature featured him.

VY: I remember growing up reading some of his work.

DW: Yeah. The People’s Literature chief was just here not long ago. When he was here, the delegation really wanted to meet Ha Jin. Isn’t it funny that People’s Literature, as the number one national literary magazine, took the trouble to come here and meet with Ha Jin while another ministry, the Foreign Ministry, said, we don’t really want to let him in. It’s totally self-contradictory and it’s very sad for Ha Jin that even when his mother was dying the US Department of State, even the senators of both Massachusetts and DC sort of petitioned on his behalf, but no he shouldn’t be allowed to go back to China.

Is China penalizing a writer or is China penalizing itself? It’s really stupid, and bad, and negative image. They knew he was famous and that he wasn’t that harmful to 和谐社会 (harmonious society) and he somehow has been “harmonized”. So to be a writer, this is the other side of the story. It’s not easy.

Mo Yan has come a long way because he wants to be creative and independent. On the other hand, he wants to sell his books in China. And now he’s been made the Vice-Chair of the Writer’s association. Foreign media immediately came out and called him a sell-out. I’m very sympathetic to Mo Yan. It’s definitely easier to stay away in a foreign country than it is to find the line to balance censorship, knowing the history, and what the government can do. Indeed, while we celebrate Mo Yan, we don’t want to forget about Liu Xiaobo as you mentioned. Which is also a peculiar case of politics.

As someone who works in the field of Comparative Literature, I really want to address the multilayered contexts. It seems the government is afraid of literature. What does Liu Xiaobo have? And the Chinese Dream as you pointed out, it’s a very literary concept. The national leader is using literary rhetoric for national propaganda. Why not? But on the other hand, Mo Yan is a very intriguing story. So I have enormous respect for him. I was back in China last summer. Life for him really hasn’t been that great for him while trying to represent the country.

VY: It is a very hard country to represent.

DW: But as a literature student, you don’t want simplify questions like the questions you are raising. Instead, I think our capacity is to make everything as messy as possible. That’s our duty. We always think different kinds of thoughts. We somehow just think in multiple threads, which we should take pride of.

VY: What are ways for us make it more public knowledge so people can think about literature and the people that are representing it in a more comprehensive way?

DW: Well in China all writers are complaining about book sales going down. It’s never easy to be a writer, but believe me, it is easy to be a writer in China if you have a membership to a writers’ association. Because you have a minimum salary, you have all these social welfare benefits – not here. Here, you’re on your own. But I was trying to be sarcastic.

It is definitely more difficult to be a writer in China because to write is to seek freedom, to project yourself into the world of the imagination. However, you also have equally imaginative censors, who read between the lines and know your intent. So in that sense, when you talk about the politics of literature, I would say that’s a part of Chinese cultural history, but each period has its own way of policing literature. And each period has its own way of liberating the power of literature. You really learn how to appreciate the power – this is the perfect way to end, actually.

Literature is going strong. Just imagine how many people are creating internet novels? Just think about how many people are writing these Weibo blogs and Weixin micro-blogs, and taking on weird personas. Language has never been so active. So don’t confine yourself to the four genres of the stupid, narrow definition of literature. With Internet culture, everything has become possible. So I think the Chinese people try to have the mediation of literature through 文 (literature-ness) or even upbringing. So now, we’re at the other side of the story in virtual space. There is the ability to manifest.

VY: That’s good to hear because a lot of people I speak to whom study China have very negative views of Chinese censorship and the Internet.

DW: We can address that part but I’d rather address the liberating power of literature. Because we know the oppressive part, we know it too well. When we talk about China, we talk about it in such a socialist, communist country of totalitarianism da da da. But as a literature promoter here, when I speak on behalf of China given the fact that I actually come from Taiwan, I really don’t buy the ideological thing of China. But I think there must be an alternative way to address the issue – much more polemic and interesting.

VY: Well thank you so much and as a student of literature and international relations, I feel much more balanced.

DW: No problem, and again, politics is a lively and even somewhat literary pursuit as well. Use you imagination.

 

 

What is Europe?

Re: Europe’s Urgent Security Challenge (editorial, April 11):

To the editor:

The article ends by recommending that European countries abandon attitudes and structures that impede counterterrorism cooperation. However, the article only mentions Western European countries, and thus underestimates the difficulties of cooperation. The author comes across as just another armchair theorist.

The article’s definition is too narrow because ISIL branches have claimed responsibility for all European attacks, including those in Turkey as well as France and Belgium. Turkey has a strategic location for intelligence and operations on the other side of Europe, which can be substantial if utilized efficiently. Countries such as Poland and Hungary, which the article ignores, may not be target countries, but as part of the EU and Schengen, they provide easy border access. Border access is crucial to monitor because terrorist networks have been found to work across borders.

It is important to a successful counterterrorism strategy to include countries in the East, but this inclusion makes cooperation significantly more difficult. Britain, Germany, and France have a great deal of economic and political power and run the EU, so Poland and Hungary may feel their best interests are not accounted for. This is evident in their reluctance to cooperate with other European countries on the matter of refugees. Hungary already built a wall to block out refugees and Poland has refused to accept any more refugees after the Brussels attack. The above-mentioned countries are part of the standard understanding of Europe, yet the article fails to acknowledge the role they play in European security. Turkey, further removed from Western European power, doesn’t benefit from the EU. Though Turkey is involved in NATO, that involvement focuses on military operations and relies on national intelligence agencies for support. Hence, counterterrorism cooperation between the West and Turkey still leaves much room for improvement.

Solving Europe’s security challenge requires cooperation not only between Western European countries but with the others as well. Thus, the article overestimates the feasibility of the cooperation it recommends.

Ida: The Sound and The Silence

Ida, the 2013 Polish film directed by Pawel Pawlikowski and the 2015 Academy Award winner for the Best Foreign Language Film, is stunning. Austere and minimal, the film is refreshingly simplistic. In a film with a notable absence of music and dialogue, the interplay of sound and silence provides an informative lens to consider the story.

Set in 1962 Poland, the film shows a country under Stalinist dictatorship just beginning to feel the reach of the West through the introduction of jazz. Poland lost a fifth of its population during WWII. Among the losses were three million Jews. A Communist takeover by the USSR and Red Army followed, leading to further loss. The viewers see a desolate country, which hints at the suffering and aftermath of Nazi occupation during WWII and Soviet rule in a process of recovery not yet complete. This isn’t explicitly expressed, but is felt in the heavy silence throughout the film. The lack of sound forces the viewer to visually focus on the film. The prevalence of silence highlights the importance of the few sounds the viewer hears.

Pawlikowski guides the viewer through Ida and Wanda’s journey with the efficient peppering of music throughout the film. Jazz is the mostly commonly played music form in the film. The viewers see people dancing in jazz clubs as a popular pastime and a sign of how Poland is westernizing. Lis, the handsome saxophone player the main characters, Ida and Wanda, meet on the road, embodies the free spirit of jazz. Jazz here is associated with improvisation and the free jazz of the 1960s in the US and other Western European countries. From the Polish perspective, jazz is unfettered by the past. But away from these pockets of freedom in the jazz clubs, other parts of the country still are shrouded in silence, such as the convent.

Ida plans to take her vows and devote herself to God. However, before doing so, she is instructed to seek out her only living relative, her aunt, Wanda Gruz. When she leaves the convent to go to the city and meet Wanda, she embarks on a journey to discover her own history. To start, she learns that she is actually a Jew born with the name Ida Lebenstein, while in the convent she is known as Anna. Wanda sardonically calls her a “Jewish nun.” There’s bitterness in her words as Ida was the one that escaped persecution during the war while Wanda had a different experience of immense loss. From that moment, their paths merge. They take a road trip to the village Wanda and Ida’s family lived in to find out more about the Lebensteins, which forces them to face the past. When they finally recover the bones of Ida’s parents and Wanda’s son and bury them in their Lublin family grave, the past is supposedly buried. However, the memory of the past persists, which leads Wanda to commit suicide as a result of losing faith and Ida to retreat back into the convent to protect her faith.

When Wanda prepares to commit suicide, Mozart’s Symphony No. 41, known as the Jupiter Symphony, plays in the background. At first, it almost seems like she is just preparing for a normal day until she disappears through the window. Viewers may feel disoriented by the unexpected action and jolted by the sudden blast of music after prolonged silence in the film. The aural reengagement with the film is jarring.

The Jupiter Symphony is Wanda’s motif. Like the song, Wanda is loud and bold. She appears in Ida’s life embodying a grand change and leaves just as suddenly. Viewers find out she chose not to raise Ida because of how much Ida reminded her of her dead sister. There are moments Wanda dotes on Ida and marvels at the resemblance, but grief overpowers her. Her affection for Ida stood no chance against Ida’s faith and conviction.

Ida’s return to the convent is set to Bach’s chorale prelude “Ich ruf zu dir, Herr Jesu Christ” represents her choice to choose the convent and God. The song name translates to “I call to you, Lord Jesus Christ.” Pure in style, it has been described as “a supplication in time of despair” by music critics. This could be how Ida feels after getting a taste of the outside world through her travels with Wanda and after Wanda’s death, trying on her clothes, habits, and sleeping with Lis. She experiences life as Wanda said she should, to know what she is sacrificing. She doesn’t choose Lis and the world because of its uncertainty. What Lis replies when she asks, “and then?” is unfamiliar. He says “life” but the only life she knows is the repetitive stability of the convent. However, she doesn’t return to the convent as the same person. Ida carries the memory of Wanda with her. She may be retreating back into her comfort zone, but there is a hint of confidence and drive that reminds the viewer of Wanda. The camera focuses on Ida’s face and movements in the last scene, whereas previously, she was more often depicted beside a larger and stronger presence – be it Wanda, nature or the city.

The interplay of silence and sound defines the film. Silence is the drone in the background, symbolizing a country still recovering from the past. Jazz, through Lis, is the sign of a new openness and westernization. In the same way, Mozart and Bach are classical music representations for Wanda and Ida, two people affected by a heavy past. The minimal but effective use of music further elevates an already cinematically artful film. I don’t know another film that uses this technique as efficiently as Ida does to tell a story, so listen closely.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQvx6Gxgtp0

The Customs of Going “Home”

When my laoye, maternal grandfather, asked us to go to Chaozhou for two days, it caught us by surprise. Chaozhou, a city in China’s Guangdong Province, is known abroad as Canton. It is also my grandfather’s birth town and the ancestral home of my mother’s side of the family. My grandfather’s aunt had recently undergone surgery so he wanted to visit. I had never been, and since there was only one semester left of college, this was the only chance to go with him. It would be an opportunity to learn more about my heritage and the perfect excuse to go somewhere warmer before Winter Break ended and I had to embrace the Boston cold again. However, I forgot what an ordeal family visits could be.

We first gathered in Shenzhen, the second largest city in Guangdong, where my grandparents lived. Family members flew in from Shanghai and Tianjin. Then we took the long road trip. The majority of my grandfather’s siblings and relatives still lived in Chaozhou and, thus, our itinerary contained a series of house visits, a banquet, and a city tour. However, the hardest part was getting the relatives’ names right. Unlike in the US where relatives are just uncles and aunts, grandfathers and grandmothers, brothers, sisters, and cousins, there is a much more elaborate system in China.

My grandfather is the oldest of five children. We first met our erlaoye, literally Second Grandfather, otherwise known as Great Uncle in English. Erwaipo, Second Grandmother (Great Aunt), was present as well. We sat in their spacious and bright living room with the table already set for tea. Chaozhou is best known for its phoenix tea, which gets its name from nearby Phoenix Mountain. It’s customary to serve visitors tea and snacks, and accepting is the only polite response. Grandfather introduced us in the Chaozhou dialect and the conversation remained undecipherable. We later gave the visiting gifts and then went to his aunt’s place down the road. Erlaoye’s son led the way. I asked him what was the proper term to call him and he shrugged, just as clueless as I was. My great-grandaunt’s (is that even correct?) home was already filled with four generations under the same roof. From Great-grandaunt to her six-month-old great-grandchild to the child’s mother who married into the family, I gave up on figuring out the appropriate titles for all the family relations.

Great-grandaunt sat in her wheelchair and tried to get up multiple times, excited by all the visitors. When she took my hand, she grinned and patted it lightly. I knew this would be the first and last time we would meet so I held her hand for as long as possible. With all the people that needed to be greeted and welcomed, it was brief. Another tradition then hit us unaware. One of the relatives in the apartment came in with red envelopes. Chinese New Year was fast approaching and giving red money envelopes signifies bringing wealth into a new year.

Afterwards, we drove into Chaozhou’s Old Town to see the home Grandfather was born in. It was there I learnt our family business had been sausage making. Erlaoye’s son ran the business and converted the old house into the factory. Most rooms were full of machinery, but one room contained the family shrine and another, where my grandfather and his brothers once slept, had been converted into the work lounge.

Kowtowing at the Family Shrine
Kowtowing at the Family Shrine

A stick of incense burned as the first offering. We had more phoenix tea and then, Grandfather called us over. The shrine was just a wooden table with fruits, meat buns, a roast duck, and spirit money around an incense bowl that contained two candles for the great-grandfather and great-grandmother we were kowtowing to. Kowtowing may have imperialistic implications in the West, but historically, we kneel and touch the ground with our forehead in worship or submission. Many emperors, officials, and family heads have been kowtowed to, and it remains a traditional gesture symbolizing deep respect. When called over, we would kowtow three times before the table while Grandfather announced us to the spirits. After the difficulty of keeping up with relative titles earlier, this was grounding and reflective in comparison.

Burning spirit money for the dead
Burning spirit money

Caught in the moment, Grandfather began a long monologue about how far the family had come. My great-grandfather died young, buried in an unmarked grave by a forgotten roadside. Those were the early days of the Cultural Revolution and people marched across the country into exile. Great-grandmother raised five kids herself and died of illness in her early forties. My grandfather joined the military to support his siblings and became an officer. That eventually led to meeting our grandmother. After kowtowing, we burned stacks of spirit money, the currency of the afterlife, in a tin barrel. Since great-grandfather and grandmother’s lives were so difficult, we hoped that they made it to a kinder place.

 

We walked around the premises before continuing to explore Chaozhou’s Old Town. The trip through heritage and history hit me harder than I expected it to. It placed our success in the context of our humble beginnings. Since “visiting home,” as the eldest daughter of the eldest daughter of the eldest son, I realized I had a legacy to live up to. Many descendants of immigrants, like myself, feel the pressure to not waste their parents’ sacrifices and hard work. We learn to navigate freely between our identities and become a part of the adopted country despite instances of confusion like those I had recently experienced upon reentering the US at Border Control. My lack of a US permanent address while holding a US passport led to a short interrogation to make sure I was “American enough.” It’s a frustrating part of life we live with; however, we are not defined by our citizenship and paperwork. Chaozhou remains a physical home for my grandfather’s clan while it is something I now carry with me as well.

Maybe the idea of being rooted never made sense. We always move on. My parents did and I will likely do the same. I once joked that when I die, my ashes should be spread over the seas. If future generations want to “visit home,” they can make a shrine wherever they are and continue the tradition. If not, at least I’ll be everywhere and they can always find me.

Sarajevo Inked

Sarajevo was a welcome change after my summer internship teaching English to teenagers and adults between the ages of 16 to 35 in Tuzla and Doboj, two other Bosnian cities. As I weaved through the Austro-Hungarian quarter, surrounded by people relaxing in cafes, sipping espressos, and munching on croissants and baklava, I, too, relaxed. It was refreshing to just be a tourist. However, while we interns had all come to Sarajevo together, the others were on their way to jump off the Old Bridge in Mostar. I feared breaking bones, so instead I decided to break some skin. Ever since I got my first tattoo three years ago, I’ve wanted another. So why not now?

With that in mind, I headed towards a bakery. Food will ensure I don’t get lightheaded during or after the tattooing process. “Stravo! Jedna mala krompiruša?” I ordered a flaky pastry filled with potatoes, and after thanking the lady at the counter, I continued on my way.

***

Sarajevo is a city with a rich history of religious and cultural diversity, which many people know as where “East meets West” symbolized by the line between the Austro-Hungarian quarter and the Ottoman Old Town. However, the city has also been the site of international conflict. In 1914, the assassination of the Archduke Franz Ferdinand is often cited as the spark that ignited WWI. Between 1992 and 1996, Sarajevo suffered through the longest siege of a city in modern warfare (1,425 days) during the Bosnian War. The different ethnocultural groups were pitted against each other and the latent effects of the time can still be felt. Three Presidents from different ethnocultural groups divided the government, with the result that it’s inefficient. Infrastructure is not fully developed and youth unemployment is over 60%.

It’s no wonder many of the students want to leave for opportunities in Western Europe, the US, or Australia. We sometimes chat outside the classroom during breaks, and they’ll share their aspirations and frustrations. When they do, it’s hard not to get attached and wish the system was easier for them to maneuver.

***

Down Obala Kulina bana, I passed the University of Sarajevo where some of the students I taught over the summer were enrolling. Compared to the bullet-hole-ridden apartments I had seen the day before on a city tour, which wore their scars like badges of honor (because the government won’t fix them), it was nice to see edifices that survived. The Siege devastated facilities and equipment at the university, but it continued operations in a show of academic resistance against the surrounding brutality. However, much of the city was reduced to rubble. There are photographs of the remains of the building of the Sarajevo newspaper Oslobođenje, which was kept as a memorial for a few years, and of the cellist Vedran Smailović performing in the half-demolished National Library, among many others images.

Vedran Smailović playing in the partially destroyed National Library in Sarajevo in 1992, courtesy of Mikhail Evstafiev, Wikimedia Commons (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Siege_of_Sarajevo#/media/File:Evstafiev-bosnia-cello.jpg)

I crossed onto a residential street and eventually found the tattoo studio address after some confusion. When I walked into the neon-lit studio, Dino, the tattooist, greeted me. Dino was a short, sturdy man with deep-set eyes and two small silver hoops in his left earlobe. He looked like your eccentric uncle who secretly might be a pirate or in a rock band.

After a short consultation, we got down to business. The tattoos I wanted were minimalist and shamelessly hipster. Still, I had no regrets. The three Nordic runes for my wrist and the ocean wave for my collarbone simply felt right.

Since social life in this country revolves around coffee, smoke, or alcohol, Dino offered me a drink when we sat down to chat after the tattoo session. Not everyone is willing to speak about the past, but Dino was talkative. He shared his family’s experiences during the Siege. His Bosniak family lived outside Sarajevo, but because his home was destroyed during the war, he moved to start a new life. I asked him if he had hope for the future. He replied, “I can’t speak for other cities, but Sarajevo is multicultural, cosmopolitan, and tolerant. I have many Serbian friends. Would I marry one? Probably not, but I would never bear arms against them. Visitors often ask us about the war, but many people are tired of the past. We remember, but we also want to move on.”

It seemed that Sarajevo and the rest of the country were scarred and healing like my wrist and collarbone. Though marks remain in physical and human memory like bullet holes in apartment buildings and the loss of loved ones, people want to go forward. It will be a slow process. But I thought of my students and hoped that at least some of them will make it far.

Soon, I bid Dino farewell. Then it hit me that I would see my mother in two days. How long would it take her to notice the new lines? On the way back to the hostel, I played out all the possibilities in my head hoping that a chiding was not in store.

The Buzzfeed listicle worthy "hipster" travel tattoos done in Sarajevo, BiH.
The Buzzfeed listicle worthy “hipster” travel tattoos done in Sarajevo, BiH.