When you start off your week with a heat stroke, there’s only really up from there. And I feel my parents definitely upped the excitement indeed. On Wednesday, I went to a place that holds deep meaning and memories for me. Not a person’s house or a museum or theme park, but an alligator park! As a kid I spent many hot summer days 
testing out my daredevil skills, taunting and studying the alligators. I used to explore the grounds and create a whole new world in nature (in my head, I was very post-apocalyptic and started a new civilization in the woods kind of child). Now, less post-apocalyptic and more pandemic, I have finally returned. Ironically when we first arrived and I saw a sign that said “Stay your distance”, I thought the park was practicing social distance not even realizing they meant from the alligator and not each other (what has our world come to haha). Also since the alligators haven’t seen people in while they seemed very comfortable in their space, and were not following their own “distance” rule.
Overall, I feel like this week felt a lot like going to the alligator park. I spent a lot of time trying to connect myself with nature. Now, while that seems simple at first glance, I wanted to really evoke an emotional connection to my surroundings. I visited natural places with previous memories, I built new memories with my siblings outside, I even started reading poetry that tried to convey a deeper message when describing nature. I desperately long to feel something greater than myself and personal gain when I’m outside. At the alligator park, I could just “be” and watch. The alligators didn’t want anything from me and I didn’t want anything from them. Instead of taunting the animals around me, pulling out flowers and plants, or disturbing the environment I just watched. I listened to the birds chirping, the bugs buzzing, and the water swaying and crashing. I took deep breaths of the fresh green landscape. My skin was warm and tingling from the sun, and I was at peace. This moment was special because I felt engaged with my senses and in tune with nature. I hope to carry this meditative ability throughout the rest of the internship and maybe even my life. I learned a lot from just “being,” and not trying to finish an assignment or write something down. There was no agenda, and it made me feel good. I hope to explore more state parks and natural spaces around Texas in preparation for my independent project and see what reflection will uncover for me.
(Check out that video of the alligator by clicking “alligator on the move”)
I really like the idea of intentionally revisiting places you’ve been before and making new memories with people at those places. Also, it’s always neat to visit a place you haven’t been to in a while and all of a sudden have nostalgic memories come up in your mind like a movie reel. I would recommend listening to Paulson intern Hannah Cho’s podcast. A few of the things you mentioned in this blog are themes of the podcast.
https://soundcloud.com/user-490099298/my-favorite-places-podcast-ep-2
I think it’s so cool you have an alligator park near your house. I also love your intention to create an emotional connection to nature–I think that phrasing is especially powerful…as if you long for emotional investment and responsibility with your environment, adopting, or committing yourself to it. I love that! In regard to your ‘daredevil’ child-self, interacting and taunting nature, I wonder if you could harness that same energy towards creating emotional connection–I wonder this, because I, too, taunted nature when I was little (I used to melt snails for a period of my childhood, which I am now very remorseful of, but it was a way I fiercely interacted with nature). I’m also trying to find a way to rediscover the forceful child curiosity towards nature, and I wonder if it lies in the daredevil energy?