I had Delanie write a reverse outline for her first draft of her paper on the documentary Home. She wrote the topic of each paragraph, and a sentence explaining its relationship to her thesis. This revealed a disconnect between the points she meant to make and what she wrote, which was missing a lot of the analysis she explained to me out loud in earlier classes. In her next draft, I asked her to rewrite each topic sentence with these connections in mind. I also asked that she include a close “scene analysis,” like the ones we’ve practiced, in every paragraph. We talked about a stronger opening as well. I highlighted phrases in her writing that were awkward and wordy, so she can look out for these issues, and I plan to go into sentence-level stuff more in the second draft. Our meeting next week will be on Tuesday because she has a doctor’s appointment on Monday.
Estefania was in touch with me before her paper was due, feeling overwhelmed by all that we’ve talked about in class, and trying to incorporate it at once with her own writing voice, so I shortened her assignment to three paragraphs. Her introduction was good, but then she went into historical background and organization became a little murky. I had her look back at her thoughtletter and write a more concrete outline, and showed her an example of one of mine. I clarified that she shouldn’t end or begin a paragraph without a good reason. In other words, her paragraphs should be comprehensive, making an argument under the umbrella of the thesis argument. Hers, she said, have always tended to be shorter paragraphs part of a narrative essay, without real topic sentences. We spent most of the class on discussion, but it felt very productive to me, and she has an outline that I’m happy with for her complete first draft due on Tuesday.