It’s the day after Valentine’s Day. I didn’t have anything special planned or anyone special in mind, but the days leading up to Valentine’s Day were special all the same. With every holiday, I’m reminded of the people I’m grateful to know in my life. This Valentine’s Day was no different.
Last week, I attended a Zeta Alpha tea. It was a bit overwhelming – attempting to socialize with so many people at once and not knowing how to act as a member of said society. Do tea-ers have expectations for who I should be or how I should talk? I saw some people who I knew teaing too, and since I never told them, they had absolutely no clue I was in ZA. I kind of wanted to run downstairs and hide, but my dear friend Deavihan (or Deeva) reassured me that it’s okay.
Saturday was a good day too. Inspired by my dad, brother-in-law, and roommate’s newfound interest in exercise, I went for a run in the morning. It was a lovely day, and the sunlight felt warm. Though running itself was definitely painful, running outside was so much fun. It made me feel at peace to have no goal in mind but to run and explore wherever I could on campus. I saw swans by the lake, took a few laps around the athletic fields, and kept pace (for 2 short minutes) with some runners who were probably training for marathons. I think I will try to make running a new habit. 🙂
After spending the rest of the day at the Science Center getting some work done, my friends on my floor organized a little get-together. We ordered burritos and chips per my Big Tatiana Ortiz’s (or Tati’s) recommendation from The Aztec, ate them together, and played a bunch of board games from Secret Hitler to Blockbuster. It was nice to take a conscious break from studying with my friends despite being amidst constantly building waves of stress.
A “Hugs from Home” Package from My Mom for Valentine’s Day
Despite Valentines’ Day being on a Monday – my longest day of the week – there were many moments speckled throughout the day that made me happy. Waking up in the morning, our Community Director Alexandra had taped pink and white chocolate Kisses to everyone’s doors. When I walked into my MUS201 class, our Professor Claire Fontijn had placed little purple Dove chocolates by everyone’s seat around the table. At my violin lesson with Professor Jane Starkman, she offered me a little bag of chocolates too. When I came back to my dorm, Tati had placed a little heart-shaped container full of mini M&Ms by my door. There was also a Valentine’s Day goodie bag from my mom, delivered through the “Hugs from Home”program from Wellesley Athletics. Admittedly, the bag probably wasn’t worth the $25 my mom paid for it, but I guess it is a fundraiser and “it’s the thought that counts.”
Sometimes, I’m not really sure if I deserve all this love from people around me. When Professor Starkman gave me chocolates, I felt like I hadn’t earned them or that I didn’t deserve them because I did not perform well in our lesson that day. I was nervous, out of tune, and in general just a mess. But these thoughts seem ridiculous in hindsight: it is a gift, and there is no expectation or price to a gift. I’m reminded of the line in The Perks of Being a Wallflower, “we accept the love we think we deserve.” I want to become better at both giving love to those around me and accepting love wherever and in whatever form it should find me. 🙂