Hello again everyone! I’ve been trying to keep the blog upbeat with all the fun things happening in my life, but to be honest, this is probably the most challenging semester I’ve had yet at Wellesley. It’s wearing me down a little, and there’s definitely been some self-doubt involved. But before we have a little heart to heart, I thought I’d start off by sharing some of this week’s best moments.
- A delightful weekend with friends. Last weekend’s destination was Acton, Massachusetts, where we stayed at the lovely home of my friend Shivani’s Aunt and Uncle. I was in at the mention of home-cooked food AND dogs, which is basically the perfect line up of “things college students miss.” But I really enjoyed getting to spend some relaxing time with friends, even if there was a period when all three of us were doing organic chemistry. It was also nice to meet Shivani’s extended family, who were very welcoming and inclusive (Her aunt and I had a long conversation about gene-personalized medicine, and her cousin took us to a hot yoga class. My hamstrings still have not recovered.)
Appeal #1: Home-cooked food. We cooked this!!!! And it was really good!
Appeal #2: PUPPIES!
- Lots of new music! This girl right here is officially playing the Barber Violin Concerto. My intonation has come a long way, and I could even sight-read the whole first page relatively well, which was something I don’t think I’ve been able to do before. We also have a studio recital coming up, and this year’s theme is tango! I’m playing the Street Tango by Piazzola, which is very sassy and I get to do all kinds of fun and crazy extended techniques like sliding up and down the strings and playing percussion on the violin.
But I don’t want my Wellesley experience this semester to come off like all sunshine and rainbows, or in my case, all trampoline parks and movie nights. Taking Organic Chemistry and Cell Biology in the same semester as a sophomore might not have been the best move, because these are some of the most challenging science classes at Wellesley and I’m not doing as well as I would have hoped. My cell bio lab is taking up a disproportionate amount of my time… especially the paper on Michaelis-Menten kinetic analysis of B-galactosidase, which will take up almost the entirety of the coming weekend. I didn’t feel as confident as I would have hoped with my first rounds of midterms, and I’m still trying to figure out how to learn from that experience and adapt my learning approach. I’ve also gotten a couple of summer internship rejections, which isn’t exactly helping the self-confidence thing.
Science is hard, but at least we get to play with green fire
Most of all, this semester is reminding me to be kind to myself. To remind myself that it’s okay to find something difficult, even if it seems like everyone else finds it easy. To remind myself that everyone has their own path and constantly comparing myself to others isn’t worth it. To remind myself that even though rejection hurts, these are extremely prestigious, competitive internships, and it’s not a direct reflection on the value of me. Without Wellesley, I remind myself, I wouldn’t even have the chance to apply to these kinds of things in the first place.
I hope you too can find a way to be kind to yourself in the upcoming weeks, especially with college decisions coming out relatively soon. Until next time, and as always:
Ever lovely yours,
-Eleanor