Hello everyone!
Hope you all had great Thanksgivings :). I was fortunate enough to be able to go home over break, and had a wonderful time. I maintain that I am much less serious when I am at home—probably because my family thinks themselves hilarious (we amuse ourselves greatly) and also that I left most of my homework at Wellesley :).
I’ve been thinking about what to write about in this post, and have discovered that my thoughts are quite repetitive! School, swimming, dislike stress, love Wellesley, etc… but then again, I suppose we all have the hallmarks of our lives :). I shall be revisiting once again my *new and improved* take on stress and happiness in this college student’s life!
When I was at home, I picked up the newest edition of Wellesley’s magazine (sent to students’ families.) Though I was unable to read last month’s edition, I saw a comment in the “readers’ comments” section that addressed that edition, and its article on stress. This commenter mentioned that the fact that there was a whole article devoted to this issue was ridiculous—Wellesley students are warm, happily fed, are surrounded by intelligent peers, have caring and accomplished professors, have abounding support networks, live right next to their friends, can walk everywhere, can be involved in an infinite number of activities, and are preparing for amazing futures. How do we have the right to complain about stress?
I believe it. And yet, it’s surprisingly difficult to avoid stress! The dichotomy is undoubtedly linked— it’s because we have such wonderful lives that we can afford to worry about things like grades, and … well, grades, mainly. It’s because our parents and our teachers and we ourselves expect to go onto medical and graduate school and be the top of our fields that’s there’s such obsession about GPA, and about putting ourselves in the best possible position to do well in the future. And like I tell people, the main difference in academics that I’ve found between high school and college was that in high school, if I tried really hard, I would get an A. In college, if I try really hard, along with all of my other incredibly accomplished peers who are trying really hard… who knows?
There lies the crux of the problem—super high expectations, fantastic lives, the capability to do excellently, and dang, new challenges :). We’re competing very hard in our ability to absorb new information, think in new ways, and learn. If we succeed, we are rich and happy and successful citizens who contribute to the world in innumerable ways. If we fail… hey, what does happen if we fail?
If we fail, we will have worked our tails off to learn as much as possible, so we will have learned almost all of the material, flexibility in approach and thinking, strength through failure, and probably just as much if not more than if we had succeeded. Plus, it’s actually pretty hard to fail in a major way at Wellesley, as there are so many resources available, and even more importantly, you don’t get in here not bearing a touch of obsessive academic in you :).
So if this is the danger, why are we worrying about it so much? I liked the comment in the Wellesley magazine, because it’s a reminder that we are, after all, here to learn. And learning, intrinsically, is awesome. When I trooped into Professor Fernandez’s office hours yesterday, quietly depressed about my test grade, he showed me where I went wrong. Then he asked me if I was having fun. And the thing is, his is the first math class where I am.
I hear so much in the hallways that “I don’t want to take this class because it’ll bring down my GPA, and then I won’t be able to get into [blank] in the future.” I am even seeing signs of this in myself, when someone in my class asked “but why is this relevant?” and my immediate answer was “because it’s on the test.” I heard myself and was startled. If someone asks a follow-up question, it’s a time to listen intently to learn about more applications and how what we’re learning fits into the overall context of the material. It’s not a time to refuse to learn new information!
And so, given two reminders in one week, plus recollections from the recent past, I’ve made a new pact with myself. I am not going to worry about grades. I am going to recapture why I loved and still love school. The fact that all I am expected to do with my life right now is be exposed to everything that my ancestors and their ancestors and theirs have figured out about the world—that’s an unbelievable opportunity. My future rests on my ability to work hard at trying to understand anything I want about how the human lives function, whether through the lenses of computer science or biology. Every day here I learn at least six new concepts that are astounding—that I never would have thought up on my own, that create a whole new framework of thinking about a topic. Every subject has its fascinations, has ideas that are magnificent.
So that’s my renewed moral, the one I have to keep on coming back to, because it drifts away with time :). Learning is wonderful for its own sake, and though it is great to have grades that reflect an understanding of that learning, we all learn in our own ways and on our own time. Continuous work will yield results eventually—and better results, if one can genuinely enjoy the topic. Passion takes work and dedication, as does everything :).
Swimming is absolutely amazing as always, and I adore spending time with my friends there.
The longer I’m away from my family, the more I appreciate the pleasure of being together.
School is great and getting better :).
Love to you all, and please ask me questions!
Best, Monica