Though the ending of The House of Mirth is decidedly a tragic one for Lily, I found it oddly satisfying that Wharton chooses not to unite Lily and Selden in the sort of happily-ever-after life together that they just narrowly miss. Their relationship over the course of the novel is frustrating, strewn with moments of intimacy that cannot and do not lead anywhere (e.g. Lily and Selden’s talk at Bellomont in Book 1 Ch. 6) as well as instances in which each character’s pride forms a thick wall around them (e.g. Selden’s visit to Lily at Norma Hatch’s in Book 2 Ch. 9). In the end, when each is finally ready to tear down these self-protective walls and expose their souls to one another, death unjustly imposes the final barrier. The following passage narrates the cruelty of the moment when Selden, finally resolved to express his emotions to Lily, finds that she is no longer poised to receive them:

He felt that the real Lily was still there, close to him, yet invisible and inaccessible; and the tenuity of the barrier between them mocked him with a sense of helplessness. There had never been more than a little impalpable barrier between them–and yet he had suffered it to keep them apart! And now, though it seemed slighter and frailer than ever, it had suddenly hardened to adamant, and he might beat his life out against it in vain.” (320)

But maybe this last, permanent impediment is actually for the best. Perhaps it is Wharton’s way of recognizing that the only way to preserve the sincerity of Lily and Selden’s love is to leave it unrealized. To wrench it out of its subterranean existence and expose it to the light of the cruel real world would be to sully it; to convert it from an ideal to a reality and to give a definition to it would be to kill it. Wharton spares her characters this corruption of feeling by maintaining a barrier between Lily and Selden, between her characters and the reader. Indeed, she leaves the reader hanging by refusing to reveal the all-important “word” (318, 319) that Lily must tell Selden and that Selden rushes to tell Lily. In doing so, Wharton seems to suggest that no bit of measly language can adequately express the deep feeling that Lily and Selden share. Paradoxically, only in silence can this “word” exist, for once it is brought to the surface of one’s lips and made audible, it will only be tarnished by the forces of insincerity that overrun reality. Not allowing us to fully peek beneath the surface of Lily and Selden’s relationship, not allowing Lily and Selden themselves to bring their relationship to fruition is the only way to truly preserve their love.