We all have had situations where we desperately wanted to lash out at someone but we stopped ourselves and decided to “take the high road.” This is an admirable route in many situations and I recommend it under certain circumstances: if you are dealing with a relatively low stakes issue, if preserving your relationship with the person is more important than the dispute and if you can look in the mirror afterwards and feel good about yourself.
“Taking the high road” is an idiom that refers to responding to a dispute in a manner that is morally right, respectful and non-combative. Comments about it include “I like taking the high road because there’s not much traffic up there” and “I choose to take the high road because no good is going to come of fighting about that issue.”
Some examples are as follows:
- You are sitting in a group when several people begin saying negative things about another person’s clothing; rather than join in the smear, you either excuse yourself from the group or you say something neutral or positive about that person.
- A professor is criticized on social media for expecting students to work very hard in the course; rather than responding in kind, the professor maintains integrity and continues to rigorously teach the students.
- A person cuts you off on the highway and, rather than speeding after them to show your rage, you calmly say to yourself that karma will catch up with them.
There may some circumstances where the high road might not be the best option. For instance:
- You are sitting in a group when several people begin saying discriminatory things about a person’s race and religion.
- A professor singles out a student in class, excessively belittling and humiliating them.
- A person cuts you off and swerves all over the road, endangering others.
In the circumstances where others may truly be endangered and/or their ability to equally and fairly enjoy their educational or work experience is negatively affected, the better response would be to stand up for the person as a bystander or seek assistance through filing a report.
These things are judgment calls. They require you to be mindful of the circumstances and make an informed decision about your response. If you decide that “taking the high road” is appropriate, you might find that you have preserved a relationship, maintained your integrity and helped avoid a hurtful confrontation. However, if the matter is not one that fits that paradigm, please act in a timely manner.
The Ombuds office can assist in exploring all of your options when weighing a variety of scenarios.
