Wellesley Ombuds Blog: We Must Be Courageous and Respond to Words and Acts of Bias and Hate
October 2021 Kathryn C. Bender
The reports about the recent racist emails at U Mass Amherst have made us, once again, need to address the problem of hate-filled conduct. In her 9/27 email to campus, President Paul Johnson said:
Experiencing this kind of hate speech is painful. It is painful for Black students and Black members of our community. It is painful for me. It is also infuriating and disturbing. Racism against one group deeply impacts us all. It is designed to break the bonds of mutual respect that bind us together as a community. We must not let it.
Each of us has an important role during a crisis such as this. We may witness hateful acts, read spiteful words, or overhear vile opinions. Failure to step up in some way makes us somewhat complicit, so we need to think about what we can do and act on it.
As an Ombuds, I talk with people about their options, from the most informal to the most formal. Let’s say we are a bystander who witnesses or overhears a hate-filled interchange. Our informal option could be to file a report about what we heard with the Office of Non-Discrimination: https://www.wellesley.edu/administration/offices/nondiscrimination
We could take it step further and schedule a meeting with the Office in person, by zoom, or via phone.
The most formal option might be to file an official complaint against the offender, hoping that there will be a hearing and there will be serious consequences for the wrong-doer.
Something in-between might be to be an active bystander. In this instance, you would have the courage to challenge the hateful language and/or behavior. You could use assertive language to make it clear that intolerance based on one’s status – be it racial, sexual, national origin, age, disability, etc. – is NOT ok and that all people have the ‘right to be treated with respect and dignity and to be free from violence, force, threats, and abuse,’ as per Wellesley’s statement for non-discrimination.
Here is an example. You observe this interaction:
Woman wearing burqa with her head lowered, hands a note to a man which reads “I need to speak with a woman about my bill.”
Man who receives the note says to her, “There is no one else for you to speak with. What question about your bill do you have? What is your problem – why can’t you speak with me? Pull that hood down so I can see you.”
The woman is visibly upset and steps out of the line. Someone else steps into her place and begins to talk with the man about their problem.
What can you do? As I often say, you can choose to respond in either a passive, aggressive or assertive manner, which might look like this:
Passive: You do not say anything and hope that it will clear itself up.
Aggressive: You push the person out of line and loudly scream at the man, saying “WTF? You are a complete a-hole bully and I’m going to report you, write this all over social media, and ruin your name.”
Assertive: You walk to the woman in the burqa and ask if she would like you to help, and she nods her head. You confidently walk up to the person who broke in line and say, “Excuse me but this woman was here first and I would like to help her.” Then you turn to the man and say in a straightforward manner, “I just observed what happened here and it is not ok for you to speak so rudely and disrespectfully to this woman who has made a reasonable request. I would like to help her get an answer to her question right now. Is there someone else who can help us or do I need to talk to you on her behalf?”
Having the courage and confidence to stand up for ourselves and others takes work and practice and once you do it successfully, you will be more inclined to do it time and again. It is up to us to find our voices and stand up against racism and other types of hate speech. By doing this, it will help reignite the bonds of kinship that we inherently have with each other and strengthen our resolve to raise up equality and respect and speak out against hate-filled words and actions. It is time for intolerant bullies to be held accountable. We can, and should, act assertively for this to happen.
