Ralph Waldo Emerson’s quote “The only thing that can grow is the thing you give energy to” is rooted in the traditional Native American story about the two wolves that live inside of us.
The story is about a young Cherokee who was angry that another child had caused her hurt feelings and anger. In sharing these feelings with her grandfather, the chief answered, “I too, at times, have felt a great hatred for those who have taken so much with no sorrow for what they do.” The wise chief continued, “Hatred and bitterness wear you down and it hurts you, not the other person.”
The grandfather continued, “It is a constant fight between the two wolves inside of you. One wolf is filled with kindness, joy, compassion and love. She is not offended by a mean comment and will only fight when it is required. The other wolf is filled with greed, anger, self-righteousness and envy. She is easily offended and fights at any mere infraction. These two wolves fight inside of you to control you.”
The young child asked, “Which wolf will win inside you?”
The old Cherokee chief replied, “The one I feed.”
What we can do is take fears, anxieties/worries and doubts and move forward anyway; focus on what we are grateful for and consciously act like we are positive about things. That’s how one feeds the second wolf. But it’s so much easier to feed the first wolf — because it’s easier to complain, dismiss, ignore, procrastinate, and obsess. There is a sick sense of satisfaction in focusing on what is bad in our lives. But breaking that cycle (as hard as it might be) will reward you with a much greater sense of authentic and worthwhile satisfaction.
Which wolf you choose to feed will define who you are. You know you should feed the second wolf — even if it’s harder. Feeding the second wolf is how we end up feeling a sense of accomplishment and success at the end of the day.
If you want to live a positive, fulfilling life, feed your courage. Feeding that second wolf will define you in a way that you will be proud of and in a way that will allow you to live your best life.
