~ Posted retroactively ~
22.02.09
In the weeks following my interview with Ms. Cho, my wifi has broken down twice, I’ve nearly missed a return flight from a weekend vacation in Busan with friends, and I’ve experienced the five stages of grief in the horrific experience known as ‘course registration at SNU’. After a busy day at work, an incredibly packed subway ride home, and a quick snack break, I prepared for my next virtual interview–by which I mean I sat at my desk and popped open Zoom. Today, I would be interviewing an alumna that Ms. Cho had graciously referred to me–Dr. Leighanne Yuh, Class of 1992.
Over the course of this interview, I learned that Dr. Yuh was born in sunny California as a second-generation Korean American. She double majored in Economics and Japanese Studies at Wellesley–the Korean major program did not yet exist–before attending Columbia University for a Master’s degree in Korean History. She went on to earn a Ph.D. from UCLA, working her way through as a Korean language teacher at two different cultural institutions as well as a teaching assistant. For two years, Dr. Yuh studied in South Korea via fellowship programs before returning to New York and finishing her program there. Shortly after graduating with her Ph.D., she was hired as a professor of Korean History at Korea University and has remained here in Korea since.
Her work was intimately grounded in her lived experience, and so she spoke to me of being a second-generation Korean American born largely isolated from her community, growing up with little interest in or knowledge of her Korean culture; of feeling academic burnout but nonetheless being pushed by her family to study more, to work more, to reach for more always and unceasingly; of feeling like an outsider in both the U.S. and Korea and never quite fitting into either. In the face of someone some 30 years my senior, I realized that everything I wanted for myself–reignited passion for my studies and greater stability in my idea of self–was something she could directly speak to.
Being raised in a highly traditional Korean culture can center one’s vision of self around the idea of education, as was the case for both Dr. Yu and myself. Our lives, growing up, were characterized by constant lectures from the adults of our families that getting a good education (i.e., going to a ‘good college’) was everything we should strive for because everything important–work, wealth, even finding a partner–hinged upon it. I’ve fallen into the same rhetoric, I feel–I’ve considered just continuing schooling many a time, to eliminate my uncertainty regarding what to do after graduation. But rather than blindly pursuing education following family expectations, she emphasized the importance of education as a voluntary choice. Taking a break between undergraduate and graduate school, or just general post-college endeavors, ultimately makes for a both more sustainable and fulfilling lifestyle. And while it may be difficult to let ourselves stop, or to push back so dramatically against family pressure, it’s critical to our lives and wellbeing that we explore our 20-something-year-old selves outside of being just a student; graduate school will always be there if we decide to go back.
We also delved into the idea of self, reconciling with our diasporic experiences, and finding a sense of belonging tempered by inner peace. That discussion was incredibly personal and so while I shall opt to not share the particulars of it online, I will say that it was an incredibly healing conversation for me. It emphasized the importance of finding a community where I can speak openly about the things that trouble me with those who have gone before me, and in turn listen and learn from their unique experiences. In my case, I feel that the Wellesley alumnae network has been one of the most effective ways to identify and speak with individuals who can most greatly understand my position in life right now and offer me guidance for my next steps.
Before I knew it, our scheduled one-hour meeting had extended into almost twice the length. We wrapped up with recollections of some campus shenanigans, at which point I learned that she has been slowly introducing to her daughter (now 11 years old) the idea of attending Wellesley in the future. At her request, I’ll actually be meeting with both of them next week for a casual daytime outing together! I’m very much looking forward to it. I find myself thinking about how this conversation wouldn’t have been possible without Ms. Cho’s direct reference. Just as Ms. Cho and Dr. Yuh have helped me, I’ll aim to help continue the tradition of Wellesley alumnae supporting Wellesley students~