During a pivotal moment in the sweet, albeit critically-mixed teen drama, If I Stay, a character utters this line: “Sometimes you make choices in life and sometimes choices make you.” As I continue my networking project, decision-making has emerged as the crux of career paths, with active choices carrying nearly equal weight with the reactive ones after life’s greatest curveballs.

Melissa Lam, Wellesley Class of ’93, is a perfect example of this phenomenon. As the General Manager and Chief Representative for Education First (EF) China, an international education provider operating in 60 Chinese cities alone, she’s certainly a power-player in her field. But that doesn’t mean her path always set in this direction.

EF Offices

Melissa and me outside the EF Offices

Over lunch two weeks ago, we discussed the unexpected decisions that shaped her career path: How opting to work for a small corporate company actually gave her an advantage over investment banking in applying to business school. How her post-MBA banking career collided with the Internet bubble, eventually sending her halfway around the world. How she’d never expected to leave her beloved Boston hometown and live in Shanghai for the past 18 years.

Throughout these life changes, Melissa found that for all the choices she made, outside circumstances and opportunities often carried almost equal influence. That is to say, that trying to stick a preset path doesn’t always yield optimal results, and sometimes, it’s better to adapt to outside factors. The most important thing, she said, is to stay in tune with yourself and keep in mind how your passions and priorities may shift. For now, Melissa largely organizes the behind-the-scenes work of EF’s legal and visa services for foreign teachers, among other responsibilities, but who knows what other career developments may lie ahead?

Before dinner…

…and after 🙂

The latter is certainly a question facing another recent networking contact.  Shuchang, who I met through a mutual friend, is an executive assistant for a French makeup company.  She and I discussed her work on several company projects over a delicious home-cooked dinner.  While not quite sure how she wants to develop her still-budding career, Shuchang mentioned several factors on her mind, including ongoing debates about maternity leave and other working women issues in China, the growth of the makeup industry and of course, work-life balance.  I think that taking multiple factors into account, beyond personal desire, is a good step in making major life changes.  Even if we can’t prepare for every surprise, it’s easier to react when you’re less caught off-guard.

And speaking of major decisions, it’s the end of April, which, as any high school senior knows, means it’s (American) college enrollment time!  Despite my attempts to erase my own college application experience from my brain, I was more than happy to help others go through the process by speaking at a recent Wellesley Alumnae Panel.  Presenting with five other women, with class years ranging from the early 90s to…well, me, we addressed the ups and downs of Wellesley to a group of prosbies and parents.  In addition to answering questions and sharing funny stories, I enjoyed hearing others’ tips about navigating college and working life after attending Wellesley.  Now, that’s one decision that I have never regretted!