Byerly Journal 4/20/13

Maud, 4/20/13:

Maud wrote the final draft of her second paper for this week’s meeting. The paper had a nice flow and a solid argument. It contained many sentence level issues, mostly concerning sentence structure and comma use. I sent her a formal letter in response to her final draft as well as a copy of the paper with all of the awkward sentences highlighted. We spent a good part of the meeting time going over the problematic sentences. I also gave her a handout and short quiz on misplaced and dangling modifiers from Purdue OWL. As always, she asked many clarifying questions about my highlights and the handouts. I think that she has a solid understanding of these issues now and I encouraged her to look out for them in her next draft. We discussed the portfolio assignment. I decided to give both of my students a choice between writing a handbook and editing a couple of papers because I think that they are both rather aware of their strengths/weaknesses and writing styles. Maud has not yet decided what she would like to do for the portfolio, as she will base this decision on how well the research paper goes. She said that she is worried about writing a handbook because she is not sure that she can identify a “good” thesis, etc. I believe that she knows more than she thinks she does, so I plan on bringing the handbook questions to our next meeting so that we can discuss them together. I may also bring some examples of “good” vs. “bad” theses, etc., so that I can make sure she is clear on these concepts and, hopefully, so that she can realize she knows more than she thinks she does. Finally, we discussed paper three. She has a solid annotated bibliography and will be planning the paper for next week. She plans to hand in an outline and some preliminary writing.

Haley, 4/20/13:

Haley wrote the final draft of paper two for this week’s meeting. She had worked hard on this paper and the organization, flow, and argument were much improved. After Lynne commented on one of her drafts, her sentence clarity and flow improved greatly. Her final draft still contained some awkward sentences, so I sent her a copy of the paper with all of the awkward sentences highlighted as well as a formal letter in response to the final draft. We discussed the highlighted sentences briefly. As I mentioned in my formal letter, I think that she can reduce the number of awkward phrases by looking out for tell-tale words and phrases such as “there is” and “it is important.” I think that she understands why these sentences are awkward and is able to fix them, but has been focusing primarily on argument clarity and organization. Stepping back and discussing these more mechanical issues was helpful to her. I gave her a handout on misplaced and dangling modifiers from Purdue OWL. She simply needed reminding, so we skimmed the handout and discussed it very briefly. We discussed Haley’s mid semester grade and her general feelings about the class. She was feeling a little discouraged, but I emphasized that a B+ is not bad at all and that what matters is her progress, etc. I think that she heard me and was feeling better about the class and her writing by the end of the meeting. She admitted that it was hard getting used to Wellesley’s standards (both grading and otherwise) after doing well in high school, and I agreed with her. We discussed the final portfolio assignment. After some discussion, she decided that she would like to do the handbook assignment. After revising her papers so many times, she felt that it would be very difficult to rework them. I agreed that they would start to become “plastic” if she worked on them any more. Finally, we discussed paper three. Haley had planned to write another very academic paper, but had learned about Obama’s neuroscience funding initiative right before our meeting and decided to write about it. She has already written two (unintended) research-based papers, so I think that this paper will be a nice style change for her. We looked for sources together, including Obama’s original proposal. This paper will be more of an opinion piece. Haley will plan the paper and do some preliminary writing for next week’s meeting.