I am sure I have written about this before, so forgive me for the repetition. I landed in this country in September 1978 to do my PhD. Unlike others, I knew exactly what I wanted to work on for my thesis, so I wrote to Prof. David Beveridge at Hunter College, CUNY and he enthusiastically accepted me into his group. So, the day I arrived at Hunter, I had a desk in his lab! I was terribly homesick, hated all the smell and the strange food and despite my fellow Indian grad students trying to cheer me up with things like “How many from India get to walk on the streets on NY and look at the beautiful Empire State Building everyday?”, all I wanted to do was to finish my PhD as fast as I could and get back home.

Then, we were invited to join Prof Beveridge and family for Thanksgiving in their home in Westport, CT. I had no clue about what this was for, but the car ride was an interesting one. It was cold and all the food and drinks looked so alien to me that I hardly touched anything. I remember eating an apple and that’s about it. Regardless, I have a lot to thank for. First and foremost, I want to thank Prof Beveridge, whose support and generosity over the years is clearly a major reason for my professional success. I always look back and feel so lucky and thankful for the path that I took to get me to where I am today. Without going into too many details, believe me, at every stage, I was able to overcome the odds against me through the generous support of many well wishers both from my own family and others with whom I had absolutely no prior connection.

When I finished high school in Sri Lanka (the only one from my large extended family to do so), my family wanted me to take up a job immediately. In Sri Lanka, in the 70s if you cleared your high school with good grades, you could get a great job. I wanted to study further and with the help of others I came to India. When I finished my Masters in India, my family wanted me to get a job. But, I wanted to study further. When I interviewed for a visa to come to the US, the Counsel General (who was known simply as Todd) said to me “Why do you want to study theoretical chemistry? It is tremendously hard to get a job in that field. You have such good credentials and with just one phone call I can get you a job at ONGC (Oil and Natural Gas Corporation of India)”. Nervously I said I would prefer to study further. No idea if he really could have picked up the phone! However, ONGC jobs were excellent jobs. He gave me the visa after all.

When I arrived in this country, I had absolutely no connections here. I had no family members or friends. My only connections were other Indian graduate students at Hunter College and my classmates from India (who were equally lost and homesick). An Indian family in Queens that I ran into in the local grocery store took me under their wings and treated me as a member of their own family. Subsequent Thanksgivings turned into binge watching TV or Indian movies on VHS tapes (in early 80’s) and eating a lot of great homemade Indian foods.

We began celebrating Thanksgiving a bit differently since early ’90s when our oldest was 7. I cooked a small turkey at home along with a lot of other fusion foods. I remember how my mother in law (a typical South Indian Brahmin and a strict vegetarian) who was with us, rushed to the farthest room in the house, covering herself under a comforter to avoid the perceived “yucky” smell of the Turkey in the oven. We needed to bring the food to her and she didn’t leave the room until the next day.

From then on, Thanksgiving in our house has been a fun affair and we have invited graduate students from India studying in Wesleyan University (where I worked for a long time) and UConn (where my wife teaches). For the past few years we have notched it down. Two of those grad students and their families continue to be our dear friends. They and another friend and her family have been our extended family during recent Thanksgiving celebrations. It is a fun time and kids complain that every year we talk about the same old stories about our time at Wesleyan! Oh well, you can’t please everyone all the time.

Now it is time for me to start working in our “makerspace” called the kitchen. Get the Turkey ready, spice it up (yes, spice it up) and prepare some of the traditional Thanksgiving food as well as Indian food.

And finally, I am extremely thankful for this country for my and my family’s success and allowing us to be who we are.