Delanie and I didn’t meet this week because of Fall Break, but she sent me the final draft of her paper and I returned it with feedback. Most of my comments this time around urged her to use more specific language, and I pointed out some grammar concerns, like comma and preposition usage, that I plan to spend some time going over in class. She also tends to use the same words throughout a paper, so I made a list of the words I felt were repetitive. She responded really well to my comments on her conclusion and made it more powerful in her final draft. She also turned in a thought letter for her next paper, so we’ll turn to that outline as well in class on Monday.
Estefania’s second draft of her paper included a piece I felt was missing the first time around (one side of a historical debate) and I was glad to see she filled this gap. She tends to use block citation as her default, so we talked about ways to incorporate evidence into her sentences for variety. She also overuses parentheses and dashes, so I brought the Hacker Guide to class on Thursday, and she realizes that dashes can make for choppy writing and that parentheses should be reserved for supplemental information and afterthoughts. We went through her introduction line-by-line to talk about writing concisely. Most of these issues can be resolved with proofreading, but I also thought her thesis and conclusion could use some work, so she’s turning in a true final draft on Tuesday, as well as a thought letter for her speechwriting assignment, where she will outline preliminary research on a current political topic in San Antonio and set the parameters for her hypothetical speech (i.e. audience make-up, level of government, venue).